


Messages Received

by maryaun



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F, Gaily, Golly, Officer Lunchbox
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-21 18:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 28,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1559957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryaun/pseuds/maryaun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fun series of text messages between Gail and Holly beginning from episode [4x07]. I may include other forms of communication too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_Unknown number:_ **   
_I think you owe me a drink._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Who the hell is this?_

**_Unknown number:_ **   
_Some people, actually no, cats, call me Lunchbox._

**_Gail:_ **   
_I left you at the morgue thirty minutes ago._

**_Unknown number:_ **   
_Your point? Meow._

**_Gail:_ **   
_You just made me spit my drink out all over my favourite sweater. And now the barman is laughing at me. Thanks._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_That'll teach you for secretly putting your number into other peoples phones, "Officer Cranky Pants." Fitting._

**_Gail:_ **   
_You're not people._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_I am not sure what that means, but I am going to take it as a compliment._

_**Gail:** _   
_Take it however you like._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_So about that drink. Do you wanna? With me? Now?_

**_Gail:_ **   
_Desperate much?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You can talk. So drink? Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well that depends, do you still smell like dead people?_

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Your olfactory receptors are safe. I have since masked said smell._

**_Gail:_ **   
_What a nerd. You driving? I am already at that cop bar The Penny, though I wouldn't mind getting out of this incestuous hellhole tonight._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_I am very close. Pick you up in 3 meows, I mean minutes._

**_Gail:_ **   
_I am regretting my decision already. Will be getting a new phone number ASAP._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Hey! You are the one who seemed desperate for friends. Anyway, I know where you work. This thing is inevitable._

**_Gail:_ **   
_That's called stalking. Stop texting and driving or I will have to write you a ticket._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Siri, say hello to Officer Peck._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Siri is a dick._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Siri agrees with you. She is also having trouble writing her own name._

**_Gail:_**  
 _Illiterate dick._ _Meet you outside shortly. I'll be the one freezing my tits off in nothing but a bra._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_You can borrow my jacket._

**_Gail:_ **   
_That green puffy looking thing? Fuck no! I'd prefer to wear fleece._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Can't help you there._


	2. Chapter 2

**_Gail:_ **   
_Head. Hurts. U. R. Dead. To. Me. Why u let me drink so much?_   
_[1 image attached]_

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Fine then. I won't reveal my miracle cure. Um, your money, your fault. Lookin' good though, Peck. You always write reports with your forehead?_

**_Gail:_ **   
_Yep, most of the time. Let me guess, it's some sort of green crap made from Brussels sprouts?_

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Er, no, gross! Bacon and chocolate milk._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Do u swear by that? Because I will send out one of the rookies to retrieve it for me._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Yes, do it. Though perhaps be nice and buy the unlucky guy/gal a coffee for their trouble._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Too late. Sent Diaz instead and he is paying for it._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_That cute tall guy? Kinda looks like a teddy bear? He is a such a sweetheart. He brought me coffee to the lab once._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Probably trying to get into your pants._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Lesbian._

**_Gail:_ **   
_No, pretty sure he is a dude. I have seen his thingy. Numerous times._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_His thingy? Oh yeah, I forgot men have thingy's._

**_Gail:_ **   
_And u call yourself a doctor._

**_Gail:_ **   
_BTW, do women always hump your leg when your're out in bars?_

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Smooth, Peck. Only when I have a hot wingwoman._

**_Gail:_ **   
_I'm flattered. Why are u taking so long to reply? You've got your hands in something gross haven't you?_

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_I have known you for less than 24 hrs and I already know you won't appreciate what I am doing._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Well now u have to tell me._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_[1 image attached]_

**_Gail:_ **   
_You make me sick._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_See? Told ya! Spin instructors pretty hot though, right?_

**_Gail:_ **   
_You could do better._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Very doubtful._

**_Gail:_ **   
_I'm serious. Though no one as hot as me._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Meh, I've had better._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Doubtful._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_You are crazy._

**_Gail:_ **   
_You know, that's not the first time someone has said that to me?_

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_I can't! I won't! I don't believe it!_

**_Gail:_ **   
_You are the biggest smart-ass I have ever met._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_I am not usually like this. You just seem to bring it out in me._

**_Gail:_ **   
_Well then, happy to be of service! Gotta go finish this report. You should ask out the chick directly in front of you. She looks nice, especially her ass._

**_Holly:_ **   
_She's straight._

**_Gail:_ **   
_When has that ever stopped anyone._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Gail:** _   
_Hey, how u been doing today?_

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_Pretty damn good. Today has been a good day. How about you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Apart from an old lady calling me cynical, fine. Boring even. Why has your day been so good? Find a dinosaur?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You make me laugh. Not quite, I did solve a cold case though._

_**Gail:** _   
_Really? I didn't realise u worked cold cases. From how long ago? At any rate, that is impressive. Congrats._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Thank you. 50 years. Detectives are about to talk to the 75-year-old surviving husband._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well that should be a huge relief for him and his family. Pity you can't be there to see his reaction._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well yes and no. I tend to be a bit awkward in "real people" situations._

_**Gail:** _   
_I somehow find that hard to believe._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I tend to just want to hug people for no apparent reason and also run away at the same time. I am kinda awkward like that._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well in this case I think a hug would be warranted._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So why was an old lady calling you cynical?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Isn't it obvious? Because I am._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_In what way?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh boy._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_C'mon, you can tell me._

_**Gail:** _   
_:S_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Deep breath._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't know, sometimes I feel like I was put on this planet to be peoples punching bag. Though I guess I am just getting back what I put out there, so it's not surprising really. I am just a really negative person. I'm like poison, and there are very few people I trust._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I wish I were with you right now._

_**Gail:** _   
_Whys that?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So I could give you a hug. Where are you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_What? U gonna come attack me with those giant arms of yours?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We'll see. I think we should celebrate - my cold case and you trusting me._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well I am sitting alone in the women's locker room in a dress that is feeling just a little too tight. I think I ate too many donuts today._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_And I thought the whole cop/donut thing was a cliché._

_**Gail:** _   
_Er, that would be a no, or it is but just not where I am concerned. I have to go to my boss and my colleagues wedding this evening. Did you wanna come?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Are you asking me to be your plus one?_

_**Gail:** _   
_If you need to label things, then yes, I guess._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol. Okay, so what time and where?_

_**Gail:** _   
_6pm and I will have to get back to you on the where._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You expect a girl to be showered and dressed in 45 minutes?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I am sure that big brain of yours will figure it out. Besides, you could be wearing a paper bag and still manage to look pretty._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lucky for you I don't own any paper bags._

_**Gail:** _   
_It's good to see you are looking after the environment :P_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm not just a pretty face. I help the environment in many other ways. I will tell you all about it sometime._

_**Gail:** _   
_Please don't. Lol._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Did you get home okay?_

_**Gail:** _   
_You're suddenly worried about me?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I thought it polite to ask seeing as I ditched you in the closet._

_**Gail:** _   
_U suck. Not home yet. Guess what I am doing?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are either throwing up in the street, kissing the bartender or eating._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ding ding ding! I already did one of those things and I am in the process of doing another. Though I will tell u now I don't tend to kiss more than one person a night. You already filled that quota for me, so u can cross that off the list._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Person? Interesting. Lol, I'll know better next time. I don't want to spoil you out of any future kisses with hunky bartenders. Male or female._

_**Gail:** _   
_U should be happy you got in there first before I threw up._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm ecstatic!_

_**Gail:** _   
_How's "dancing"?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What's with the air quotes?_

_**Gail:** _   
_You were lying, right?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why would I be lying?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No reason._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Okay? "Dancing" didn't last long._   
_[1 image attached]_

_**Gail:** _   
_Shit! Are you okay?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nothing a bit of ice won't fix. It'll all be good in the morning._

_**Gail:** _   
_U sure u shouldn't see a doctor?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You're suddenly worried about me? Anyway, I am a doctor._

_**Gail:** _   
_I mean a "real" doctor._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I knew those 4 years of med school were a complete waste of time. :P_

_**Gail:** _   
_Smartypants. Maybe you shouldn't dance in heels anymore. U weren't really that coordinated on the dance floor earlier tonight._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Embarrassing thing is, I wasn't even dancing, I was standing still and I just fell over. And WTF? I am an excellent dancer!_

_**Gail:** _   
_I feel sorry for u. Someone has obviously been lying to u all these years. I wouldn't exactly call swaying awkwardly from side to side like a 12 year old girl at her first formal, dancing._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well, stuff you! Goodnight!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Seriously?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Lo?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Don't be a butt hole._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Anyway, you can talk! You looked like a complete nut job out there!_

_**Gail:** _   
_And she's back!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Actually that's just offensive to nut jobs._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well stuff u too! This cheese burger is much better company than u will ever be._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well why don't you marry it then._

_**Gail:** _   
_Wow, u really are a 12 yo girl._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_This coming from the woman who called me a butt hole?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I am not the one with a kajillion degrees, doctorates, PhDs, STDs._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol. And with that, I am going to bed. Maybe you should think about doing the same._

_**Gail:** _   
_Can't. Eating. Thanks for coming tonight, it was actually fun._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes it was. Make sure you drink plenty of water, okay?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, mother._

_**Gail:** _   
_I apologise, that was an awful insult. You are nothing like my mother. Goodnight._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'll take your word for it. Night._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Gail:** _   
_Watching Breaking Bad finale on DVR. Do you know how to make methamphetamine?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What the hell, Gail?_

_**Gail:** _   
_What? We could go into business together! I need funds to support my shoe and ring obsession and you, I dunno, flannel shirts? You can be Mr White and I'll be Jesse. But don't get cancer, okay? That would make Jesse sad._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Um, why don't we just go with "books" instead of the whole lesbian cliche. I'll try my best on the cancer front. At least I have a hot blonde wife._

_**Gail:** _   
_See? You are already looking on the bright side. It's the perfect plan. And I like your flannel shirts._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You realise you will have to do a lot of work don't you? Those protective suits aren't very flattering either._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ah, fuck it. Let's just grow pot instead._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes, very wise. I am much more comfortable in the area of botany. I took care of my roommates buds in med school while she was on break._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well that's a start I guess. What are you doing right now?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am in the lab._

_**Gail:** _   
_You hungry?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail it's late._

_**Gail:** _   
_I know, I can bring something to you. I can help you do some work._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You mean sit around and insult me and tell me how much I smell?_

_**Gail:** _   
_That's what I said. Work._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I guess I have some more bones here you can touch._

_**Gail:** _   
_Wicked. So what do you want to eat?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nothing too heavy or greasy and no red meat._

_**Gail:** _   
_Okay. One bowl of horse chaff coming up._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why don't you get yourself a side of cat food while your at it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Stupid bloody cat._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You shouldn't put yourself down like that. Emotional issues you may have, but stupid you definitely are not._

_**Gail:** _   
_Thank you, Yoda._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Very welcome my young Padawan, you are, yes hmm._

_**Gail:** _   
_I feel sorry for any of your future wives._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Wives, plural?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Well I figure with your first wife her brain explodes from all the nonsensical shit you fill it with._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Technically not possible, but go on._

_**Gail:** _   
_You learn your lesson after your first wife, however, your second wife accidentally stumbles upon your first wife's dead body that you had buried in the back yard. So naturally you kill her._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Great :P Now I'm a murderer._

_**Gail:** _   
_And finally your third wife will unfortunately fall in love with me. Then the inevitable happens._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Let me guess, you kill her?_

_**Gail:** _   
_How'd you know? Lol_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am sensing a pattern here._

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh right, I forgot you are a Jedi._

_**Gail:** _   
_Food ordered. I should be with you and your boney friend in 30._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Joy._

_**Gail:** _   
_I can "sense" the sarcasm from here._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are finally learning my young Padawan._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Do you want to bone sometime?_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Come again?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_That's what she said. I meant bang._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_No, I mean boob!_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_What the what?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Sorry, bowl! I mean bowl!_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_You totally did that on purpose didn't you? I almost fell out of my chair._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Ha ha. I will never tell._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Anyway, bowling. I feel like throwing something. Though those balls are pretty heavy aren't they? Maybe I just need to hit something instead._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_I'm still curious to know what it would mean, "to boob."_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Trust you to be curious. Your guess would be as good as mine._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_I will have to think this one through._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Don't think too hard._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Now every time I look at a bone today I am going to think of boobs._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_You're welcome?_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Why is it that you want to throw or hit something?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Because mother insists on setting me up on dates with medieval doodiehead archers with fake British accents._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Doodiehead's sound like the worst. Never had the pleasure._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_You're very lucky. And I have to get through another date tonight! All this love crap makes me nauseous._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_It's a free meal, right? I know how you like your food._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Meh._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Monosyllabic replies are always my favourite._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_And who knows? They just might end up being the love of your life!_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Lol, you reckon?_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_It's possible. You deserve to be happy, even if you don't trust the feeling. I know it seems rather foreign to you, so trust me when I say, you definitely do._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Have you been sniffing chemicals again?_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_No._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Oh._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_So I know what happens with your fourth wife._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_I thought I only had 3?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_I can't get anything past you. You are too smart for your own good._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_What's the point anyway, she is probably dead, right? I will forever be alone._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_No you won't. You can come live with me and my doodiehead husband in Sherwood Forrest._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_With your band of Merry Women?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Haha wishful thinking! I guess I can see what I can do. We can continue our pot-growing venture._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_So basically you are just benefiting from my misery in order to feed your shoe and jewellery obsession?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Shit fuckity fuckstickballs._

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Aneurysm?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_Are you very busy right now?_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Always, but that doesn't matter. What's going on?_

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_I am going to be at your lab in 15 with some evidence. That's if I ever get out of this briefing. Diaz's kid has been taken from a park. Can you run what ever tests you run for me?_

_**Lunchbox** _ _:_   
_Shit. Of course. I'll be waiting._

_**Gail** _ _:_   
_K, ta._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_How's the shoulder?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't have a shoulder any more._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh no! What happened?_

_**Gail:** _   
_It up and left me! It ran off with the baseball bat!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_At least you hit the ball that time._

_**Gail:** _   
_Is the bat supposed to make it further than the ball though?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It depends which version of baseball you are playing. I think you were training to kill your opponents._

_**Gail:** _   
_The only way to win in my book._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I was actually going to call you to see how you were doing, but I thought it was getting a bit late._

_**Gail:** _   
_So u decided to wake me up by making my phone buzz?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Crap. I did wake you._

_**Gail:** _   
_No, I have been staring at the ceiling for an hour. Can't sleep. Anyway, the shoulders fine._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I wasn't actually referring to your shoulder. You seemed very quiet when you dropped me off earlier. I was kinda worried._

_**Gail:** _   
_You worry a lot._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I know._

_**Gail:** _   
_You will have massive frown lines when you're 30._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It's too late, I'm 32._

_**Gail:** _   
_I kinda hate your beautiful face right now._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol thanks. You think I'm beautiful?_

_**Gail:** _   
_In that obvious I-wanna-hit-u-with-a-baseball-bat kind of way, yes._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It's a burden you would know nothing about._

_**Gail:** _   
_Shut the fuck up lol_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So you didn't answer my question._

_**Gail:** _   
_U didn't really ask one._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Is everything okay with you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I'm fine. It's fine._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You know if you ever want to talk about it?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I know. U should go to sleep. I don't want to be the reason why your face turns into a mess._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol k. Sleep well, Gail._

_**Gail:** _   
_Night night._

_..._

_**Gail:** _   
_Lo?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I was kidnapped._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I know._

_**Gail:** _   
_Can't sleep._

_**Gail:** _   
_Wait, u do?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes._

_**Gail:** _   
_How?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I was there that day and I recently put two and two together._

_**Gail:** _   
_Where were u?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_At the morgue with the coroner when they brought Detective Barber in. Your friend Traci arrived shortly after that._

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh. Traci never mentioned._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm sure she doesn't even remember._

_**Gail:** _   
_Was she there long? With Jerry?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_About an hour._

_**Gail:** _   
_What was she doing?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Just sitting with him. Saying goodbye._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail? Are you okay? Today must have brought up a lot of stuff for you, with Christian and everything? I'm so sorry.  
_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Mmm._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm gonna call you now._

_**Gail:** _   
_K._


	8. Chapter 8

**To: Gail "that is my donut" Peck  
**

**From: Holly Stewart  
**

**Subject: Your stupid face**

Dear Officer Cranky Pants aka Incessant Bra Flicker (it's going to get old very quickly I tell you. Do you do this to all your friends?),

I realise this is a big step we are taking but I think you are ready. _We_ are ready.

I can't tell you enough how excited I am that we are finally going to be doing it. It gives me little goose pimples just thinking about it. I can't really fathom why we waited so long frankly, can you?

I know you are nervous and that is only to be be expected, especially when you are only used to reading a few words at time, but as the nature of any relationship goes, they have to grow and we have to grow together. So here we go. This is called emailing.

First off, I hope this email finds you sufficiently fed and hydrated. I don't want you passing out from low blood sugar or dehydration while reading this because you would be missing out on a lot (good and bad), especially my awesome attachment below, which I am particularly proud of, so no teasing! So eat a donut and down a glass of water for me, okay? This is the only time I will condone you eating a donut. THE ONLY TIME! Learn how to eat ice cream for Christ sake! It is so much better!

Vancouver is beautiful as always. When I arrived yesterday my sister and mother picked me up from the airport and we dropped by the cemetery near our family home to put flowers on my dad's grave. I don't get home as often as I should or want to, so I always make a point of visiting him as soon as I get here and then again as I leave. A tradition I plan on keeping up with for as long as I can, or at least until The Walking Dead happens. You know it's going to! I am going to be kicking butt like Michonne and her kick-ass sword. Perhaps your doodiehead husband can teach me a few tricks? He is not only an excellent archer you know.

I have digressed.

It will have been three years next January since my dad died. I had mentioned to you in passing that he was gone but I never told you how or why. Yes, there is a why and in that sense I will be forever proud to call him my dad. Do you have some tissues? You have been forewarned.

It was a just a regular Sunday grocery run when he came across a car accident at a level crossing on the outskirts of town. It had been pouring on and off, and that mixed with a little bit of snow, made for poor visibility that day.

A car had been hit by a small truck and had flipped and had unfortunately slid onto the middle of the train tracks. You can probably see where this is going already.

A mother, as well as her four year old and 10 month old baby boys were trapped inside the car. Not only were some of the doors banged up but they had also seized up too and wouldn't open.

Of course dad being dad hopped through the broken windscreen and cut the woman's seat belt, freeing her so she could climb out first. He got into the back with the kids and somehow kicked the window out in the door next to the four year old and he pushed him out through it.

Luckily the baby was strapped in tight, supposedly he was still upside down screaming his little lungs out, a good sign in itself.

This is starting to read like some fucking tv show with a tragic cliffhanger isn't it? Wait it gets better. Well no, it actually worse... You know what I mean...

Anyway, the mother said that dad was struggling to free the baby but he eventually managed to wriggle him out, but there was a train coming. The truck driver never called 911 because he was in too much shock so the train hadn't stopped earlier down the line.

So dad basically threw the kid out window to his mother and you can probably guess what happened next.

A few months later we learned that the ten month old had Leukemia (I am not making this shit up, okay?) He is still going strong today. Our families have kept in contact. Cute kid too.

I haven't actually shared that story in years. It's was kind of cathartic. So thank you for being on the end of it.

Okay, onto more happier and weird things. Your favourite. The weird things. Not the happy stuff. Gross!

Mum cooked us dinner last night. It was full of cheese. Kind of reminded me of you. You know, kind of horrible to look at but becomes increasingly more flavourful once melted. By the way, that was not supposed to sound sexual, okay? I know you went there, so just stop it!

Anyway mum has decided I need more sun. Any thoughts on this subject? She thinks I spend too many hours inside darkened rooms staring at bones and computer screens, which is probably true. She is still surprised that I am not more blind than I already am. She also thinks I need nicer glasses. Do you like my glasses? She says they make me look at least 33. She is a funny one my mum.

She is not happy that the only person I see outside of work at the moment is you. She thinks I need to be getting serious about my future wife, seeing as my eggs have already dried up at the ripe old age of 32.

I told her I had four wives, but they were all basically murdered by two crazy people. She doesn't find it as amusing as we do. Why is that exactly?

My sister also thinks you are a figment of my imagination. Someone who I have thought up in attempt to not sound like a lonely old spinster with no friends. I really do have no friends. Do I really actually smell or something?

I am currently writing this email on my iPad as I click through a PowerPoint presentation in a lecture my colleague is giving. I have missed a few cues apparently and he kicked me in the fucking shin the last time. Should I put him up on assault charges? Do I need some sort of proof?

To finish up, I have attached a few drawings for your viewing pleasure.

We all played Pictionary last night. One of these drawings is mine and it was actually used in the game. The other was drawn by my mum. It is of what my drawing should have looked like. I think she was trying to prove a point or something. Three guesses as to what it is supposed to be. You only have to look at my mum's to figure it out in one.

Okay, talk soon. Actually I will probably be receiving a text from you later won't I? I can't live without my evening "this is what I had for dinner," text.

Cheers,  
Dr Holly Stewart, Artist extraordinaire & lover of cheese (still not sexual).

Sent from my iNeedADrinkAboutNow

_[1 image attached]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a Tumblr link to the illustration that Holly & her mother drew.  
> [Chapter 8 Tumblr link.](http://gail-shark.tumblr.com/post/82289065549/part-8-gail-holly-texting-now-email-saga)


	9. Chapter 9

**To: Holly Stewart**  
From: Gail "that is my donut" Peck  
Subject: Germy

Dear Holly (aka "I can't be bothered using my brain right now to produce anything funny here"),

I'm sick, Holly! Like, really, really sick! I couldn't be more sick if I tried and I don't do sick, Holly! No! I think I need another hug. Or maybe it's me who should be giving you one. Fuck me!

If there are parts of this email that don't make sense it's because Dov has been regularly dosing me with cold and flu tablets and lots of other shit and I am probably a little drowsy, not that I can really tell. I may be writing this email with my eyes closed. I may in fact be asleep. I am surprised I can even use punctuation but I am. See? A question mark.

Thank you for your somewhat roller coaster ride of an email. Having been laid up been in bed for the past 24 hours (because I'm sick, did I mention that I'm sick?) it was a welcome, if not emotional, distraction from all the phlegm and boogers. So many boogers, Holly! It's not a pretty sight. I don't think you would like this stupid face of mine anymore once you see it covered in crusty boogers. I am also a terrible patient, something I am sure you can quite easily picture and are probably laughing at right now. I bet you don't even get sick do you? Being all perfect and everything.

Just so you know, I wasn't ignoring you; I have just barely been able to lift my arms until now, you know, because I'm sick? Really, really sick? It made it very hard for me to blow my nose I tell you. However, all my extremities seem to be functioning again, so yay me! :P

Dov has set me up with his MacBook. I told him to sit it on top of my chest and he managed to touch my boobs while doing it. He looked a little too pleased with himself. I am totally going to tell Chloe about this.

So Dov and Chris have been on Gail-watch. I should be saying I am happy to have Chris back in the house but he has been acting like an overprotective father, taking my temperature and threatening to call my mother. He is definitely missing Christian. Poor guy. He is really worried about him, and he has asked me if I can talk him, but I really don't know what to say. I am supposed to think it over.

Anyway, he has been bickering with Dov on how best to take care of me. He was never this attentive when we were together that's for sure. It's quite sad; I think he and Dov are actually going to break up! Anyway, they have been doing my already stuffed head in.

I think I need to take a break from this email. I might actually be asleep after all, or in fact need to be. This email is going to be a big choppy mess once I am done with it. By the way, you are such a fucking smart-ass! I know how to read and write emails, you loser! It was funny though. Made me have coughing fits, so thanks for that. I am all types of sick right now, did you know that?

So I woke up from a 6 hour nap an hour ago. Unfortunately I woke with a terrible headache and now Papa Chris and Dov are home to make it even worse I'm sure.

Okay, something hilarious and kind of weird just happened. Dov and Chris were arguing over when my last dose of medicine was and Chloe stormed in and told them to "get the fuck out." This chick is the mousiest, yet talkative, most sunny person you will ever meet. You know, my worst nightmare? Yes, I realise you are happy and sunny too but you are weirdly morbid and sarcastic as well, so it all balances out, actually it tips the scales the other way in fact, I actually like you. A lot.

Anyway, so she swore, and it was like Christmas morning, just minus my mother's woolen knitted reindeer jumpers (yes I like Christmas, so fucking sue me). She proceeded to feed me chicken soup and applied a cold cloth to my forehead, all while keeping her trap shut. Obviously, I would normally refuse any type of hand holding, especially from her, but I didn't have the energy.

Okay, so Chris is dead. I killed him. Not only do I murder your wives, I murder my housemates too. He did in fact call my mother and she only just left my bedside after being here for two hours. Two hours with my mother is like... Actually there is nothing really to compare it to. It took her five minutes to stop trying to pull me out of bed, insisting I wasn't actually sick. Then I threw up and she gave in and became all motherly. She held a tissue to my nose and asked me to blow. I refrained from blowing boogers all over her hands though. She said I still looked pretty good for some one who feels like a zombie. That's the nicest compliment she has given me in quite sometime. She did ask me if I needed anything. I'm like, "anything?" I told her I wouldn't mind a new iPad and some donuts. Will see how that works out, as she is coming by in the morning.

I have copped a fair amount of criticism over the years from my mother, but it sounds like your mother is pretty funny about it. You are both right, you should come up for air more often, if not only for the sun, for my olfactory receptors. Look! I learned new words! :D

Your glasses are perfectly fine. I think she might be pulling your leg a bit there. Though, I am pretty good with a glue gun, so I could always add some sequins and diamantes to jazz em up a little. Then again, sequins and fleece don't really go that well together and you already have a hard enough time finding a wife, so I am thinking I should probably just leave them as is...

Regarding your cheese comment? No comment, you pervert.

I have been referred to a lot worse than someone's imaginary friend and yes, of course you smell! I have told you this many times! You think with such a huge brain this fact would sink in quicker.

So again, leaving the lab as I mentioned earlier would probably help with the no friend and not smelling predicament you find yourself in. Maybe you should go to more crime scenes and meet some more snarky cops. Just no one from guns and gangs, they tend to get shot at on a more regular basis.

I think you probably already know what I am going to suggest in regards to your a-hole colleague - Murder, it's the only viable option.

Sleepy time again, *Snore*. Actually I don't snore; I do talk in my sleep though. Chris has told me. Actually Dov has told me too. He can hear me through the walls, but he won't tell me what I talk about. He likes to torture me. Bastard.

Guess what? I woke up this morning (feeling much better by the way, you know, because I'm sick?) and there was a box sitting on the end of my bed. My mother actually bought me an iPad! I can't believe it! And she didn't wake me up either. Bonus! No breakfast donuts though, so I am terribly disappointed about that.

I will only say one thing in regards to your attempt at drawing a meerkat, as lame as it may be, you have to bring it home for me so I can stick it on my fridge and bask in all its... Um... Meerkatness.

Onto the uncomfortable stuff. If you couldn't already tell, I have been putting off writing to you about your dad. I don't think I was in my right mind (because I am sick, lol I'm sorry) to attempt to write anything. That's if I even have a "right mind" to begin with. You do seem to think I am insane after all.

I am still a little unsure about what to say really other than I am truly very sorry for your loss and that I am here for you if you ever want to talk about it some more, for catharsis or whatever. Sorry, I am really bad at this but I will soldier on like my mother taught me.

As a police officer I work with brave people everyday. I have heard countless stories; I have even lived it with Jerry. And that's the thing isn't it? I lived. I am alive because there are heroes in this world like Jerry and your dad. I just hope one day I can be half as selfless and courageous as them but until then, I will protect and serve and honour them in the only way I know I can, with this smart mouth of mine.

So this novel took me two days to write. I am going to be a bad editor and not read through it again because I will probably delete it otherwise, so please take the less coherent stuff with a grain of salt.

By the way, I think my email was longer than yours. So of course this means I win.

Cheers,

Gail, booger extraordinaire aka winner.

P.S. No more emails. I much prefer notes or typing with two fingers.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Lunchbox:**  
Just boarded. Sitting on the tarmac crying. Thanks for that._

_**Gail:**  
What did I do? Better yet, you're coming home?!_

_**Lunchbox:**  
Read your email and yes, touch down after 6pm tonight._

_**Gail:**  
Oh that. U cried?_

_**Lunchbox:**  
Yes, tears and everything. You do good email._

_**Gail:**  
I am good at a lot of things, doesn't mean I want to continue doing them._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Such a buzzkill._

_**Gail:**  
It's a gift._

_**Lunchbox:**  
I am nodding._

__**Gail:**  
Do you want me to pick u up later? I am back at work today (cos I was sick, remember?) but I am off at 4.  


_**Lunchbox:**  
No need to trouble yourself. Was planning on getting a taxi._

_**Gail:**  
It's no trouble. I wouldn't have offered otherwise._

_**Lunchbox:**  
If you insist then. Flight 254._

_**Gail:**  
I am insisting. If you're really nice I might even bring you a present!_

_**Lunchbox:**  
When am I not nice? I actually brought home a present for you too but you can't have it yet._

_**Gail:**  
U can't tell a girl she's getting a present and then not give it to her as soon as u see her._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Well then I'll have to find you another present between here and baggage claim because you are not getting this one._

_**Gail:**  
Well I think that's only fair. _

_**Gail:**  
Do you have plans the weekend of December 6?_

_**Lunchbox:**  
That is months away._

_**Gail:**  
U are right. What was I thinking? Knowing me our friendship will have probably imploded by then._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Don't be stupid. I'll check my calendar._

_**Gail:**  
U do that._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Um, don't hate me, but I do._

_**Gail:**  
Seriously? 2 months in advance?_

_**Lunchbox:**  
Well this has been on the cards for 6, so..._

_**Gail:**  
Bugger! It!_

_**Lunchbox:**  
I know I am all things lovely, but why are you so desperate to make plans with me? _

_**Gail:**  
My mother has this fancy dinner thing._

_**Lunchbox:**  
You want me to come to a dinner with you, plus one type of thing?_

_**Gail:**  
No._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Um, ouch!_

_**Gail:**  
Lol. No, I needed u to be my excuse for not coming. If I had plans with u she wouldn't question it so much._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Okay, so just say you have plans with me then._

_**Gail:**  
Yeah, that's not really how it really works with my mother. I would actually have to be in the same vicinity as u._

_**Lunchbox:**  
How on earth would she know whether you were near me or not? Did she GPS our phones?_

_**Gail:**  
I wouldn't put it past her. Anyway, she doesn't know who u are. She would call me and then ask to speak to u to check that I am telling the truth._

_**Lunchbox:**  
OMG!_

_**Gail:**  
I know :S It's high school stuff. I just can't do this particular dinner, for political reasons. And before you ask, that is what I say when I don't want to talk about it._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Got it. Okay, can't you ask one of your other friends?_

_**Gail:**  
My mother knows and dislikes most of my other friends, except for Traci, so in her eyes they don't count. Besides, Traci is probably invited. She can hang with my bro, whom by the way has a huge crush on her._

_**Lunchbox:**  
That's sweet._

_**Gail:**  
And gross._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Okay, so what makes you think she would accept me as your excuse?_

_**Gail:**  
That's easy. You're a doctor and are married to your work. That's like hitting the friendship jackpot in her book. U can only rub off on me._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Lol_

_**Gail:**  
That wasn't meant to sound dirty._

_**Lunchbox:**  
It never does with you._

_**Lunchbox:**  
I guess you could come to my thing._

_**Gail:**  
Don't sound too enthused about that._

_**Lunchbox:**  
You can definitely come to my thing! Better?_

_**Gail:**  
A bit._

_**Lunchbox:**  
You're a hard women to please. Okay, so I booked your ticket._

_**Gail:**  
U booked my what now?_

_**Gail:**  
Lo?_

_**Gail:**  
Okay, so I'm guessing u turned your phone off for your flight. Who the hell does that anymore? Now I have to wait 5 hours? U officially suck! And I am talking to myself..._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Landed, though still sitting on the plane for some reason. Well you said you would come to my thing, it just happens to be in Vancouver._

_**Gail:**  
Is this a plus one type of thing?_

_**Lunchbox:**  
No, this is my little sisters 25th birthday type of thing._

_**Gail:**  
I am not sure we are their yet. Friends, travelling together? It could get dicey._

_**Lunchbox:**  
You're a nob._

_**Gail:**  
Aww, thank u. Will their be alcohol and Pictionary involved._

_**Lunchbox:**  
One can only hope. Be out in 10 minutes._

_**Gail:**  
I am already waiting._

_**Gail:**  
Okay, it's been 10 minutes._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Patience my young Padawan. Bit of a queue at the top of the escalator._

_**Lunchbox:**  
A couple a metres away from the escalator._

_**Lunchbox:**  
One metre._

_**Lunchbox:**  
I am at the top of the escalator. I will shortly be descending down said escalator._

_**Gail:**  
I see you you big loon._

_**Lunchbox:**  
You look nice. Hot date?_

_**Gail:**  
If u wanna call it that. What's with the serial killer eyes?_

_**Lunchbox:**  
You better watch out! My big long hugging arms are coming for you!_

_**Gail:**  
That's it. I am outta here._

_**Lunchbox:**  
Hey! Don't you run away from me. _

_**Lunchbox:**  
OMG! You are such a brat. Come back here!_

_**Lunchbox:**  
This is not funny. Where did you go?_

__**Gail:**  
Look behind u.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Gail:** _   
_Dude! We are TOTALLY set for kife!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Kife?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Was typing with my nose. Eating. Finally started lunch break._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I should have guessed._

_**Gail:** _   
_I meant to say "we are totally set for life"_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Excellent! Being set for life has always been a short-term goal of mine and we are a "we" now?_

_**Gail:** _   
_U don't remember? I'm your fifth wife. I married your poor old spinster-ass out of pity._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I seem to have wiped it from my memory bank._

_**Gail:** _   
_That really hurts. It was a beautiful day._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You'll have to tell me about it someday. Wait up. How precisely did you manage to put a ring on my finger?_

_**Gail:** _   
_A ring? Who said anything about a ring? It was an onion-ring._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol, only you would do that. How romantic._

_**Gail:** _   
_I am as romantic as they come, Lunchbox. Anyway, your mother gave me an ultimatum. She said as long as a hot woman like myself was hanging around u, u would never attract any potentials, so it was either leave u alone or marry u and seeing as I was destined to be left out in the cold by basically everyone, I figured I can't have u being all happy and stuff if I couldn't be, so I decided that my misery needed company._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_How considerate of you and I'm glad to see you are working on not being so cynical :-S You do realise I murder my wives?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, that thought had crossed my mind._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Right, so I am not entirely sure I am ready to part ways with you just yet. I kinda like your stupid face. Plus, I don't even know your middle name._

_**Gail:** _   
_Will it help if I tell u, as new your wife, I never plan on having sex with u?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Pity sex is the worst anyway, I'm sure you'd be terrible. I am not a cheater, so I guess murder is the only option then if I ever plan on getting laid again._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'll have u know I've never had any complaints in that department, especially when it comes to the ladies._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol, is that so you big 'ol lesbian?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Uh huh. Not! One!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Miss "we-all-have-the-same-junk-so-it-can't-be-that-hard," I don't think I believe you._

_**Gail:** _   
_I knew that would come back to bite me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I thought you and I were end game? Wife number 12?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I think we are tipping over the edge from insanity into something much worse._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes, this has gotten off track in record time. Lol, so why are we set for life then?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Olie and I busted a grow op this morning. I am about to go help clean up, so I thought I could steal all the plants for our new business. Just need to figure out a game plan now._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_The insanity never stops with you._

_**Gail:** _   
_I think I need help._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'll forward you a phone number of a great psychologist I know._

_**Gail:** _   
_What, no degrees in psychology for you? Besides, I have a therapist. I am probably due for a visit._

_Holly:_   
_No degrees, but always available for a chat._

_**Gail:** _   
_And what if Its you I need to talk about? That could be awkward._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_More awkward than this conversation?_

_**Gail:** _   
_What?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Huh?_

_**Gail:** _   
_You're feeling awkward?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Um._

_**Gail:** _   
_?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_A little uncomfortable. Though I started it. Sorry, forget it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Forget it? How am I supposed to do that? I have been crapping on like this for weeks._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sorry._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't mean to tease you so much about not having a girlfriend._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It's fine, really. It's not like I haven't encouraged or enjoyed it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Shit! I just seem to wanna pull people down with me into the black hole that is my life._

_**Lunchbox:** c_   
_Gail..._

_**Gail:** _   
_Holly, I get it. Ixnay on the irlfriendgay._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail, that's not what I meant._

_**Gail:** _   
_Gotta go, for political reasons._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Don't be like that._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ignoramus. I know you are probably still sitting there being stubborn eating your fifth donut._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail "I have no idea what your middle name is" Peck, stop being a such doodiehead and talk to me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Fine then._


	12. Chapter 12

_**Gail:** _   
_Fionnula Minerva_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What?_

_**Gail:** _   
_My middle name_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Uh huh._

_**Gail:** _   
_What u doin?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Working and I should get back to it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ah. Such a good nerd._

_**Gail:** _   
_I like you_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I like you too._

_**Gail:** _   
_You don't like me do you?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I just said I did?_

_**Gail:** _   
_You're my friend_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes, Gail._

_**Gail:** _   
_K_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What's going on?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Nuffin_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Where are you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Nowhere_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail_

_**Gail:** _   
_Lunchbox_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What are you doing?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sleeping._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are in bed?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yupppp._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I thought you were at work?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I guess I'm still on the clock._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So you are working but you are in bed._

_**Gail:** _   
_U are soooooo smart. I like that about u. I like u._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are acting weird, even more so than usual._

_**Gail:** _   
_I thought u liked that I was weird._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I like everything about you but what's going on? Did you eat something bad? Was it your lunch?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol. I can handle anything but not baby elephants._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_OMG Gail, you didn't, did you? Please tell me you're not high right now from that pot you found this morning?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Haha_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Seriously? You could lose your job, Gail! You need to stop!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Would it help if I said I ate a pot brownie instead?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No! Of course not! OMG!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Well good. Because I didn't and I didn't smoke anything either. I can't believe u would think I would do something like that. This makes me soooooooo sad. Peck's don't get sad or is it Peck's don't cry? I can't remember._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_OMG! You are infuriating sometimes._

_**Gail:** _   
_Cheeses! I'm sorry._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, I'm sorry._

_**Gail:** _   
_Why are u sorry?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What? Because of what you just said! That I jumped to conclusions._

_**Gail:** _   
_When did I say that?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_There is something seriously wrong right now. I am leaving work and coming to you. Stay put._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ok, do u need directions?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, I know where you live._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I am not at home._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You said you were in bed sleeping?_

_**Gail:** _   
_My bed is not the only one that exists u big nerd. U have a bed, hotels have beds and hospitals have beds._

**_Lunchbox:_ **   
_You are in the hospital right now, aren't you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I knew u would figure it out eventually. U are sooooooo smart. Do u need directions or do u know where the hospital is?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_And you are as high as a kite, right?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Oxy! Oxy! Oxy! Oi! Oi! Oi!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I take it back. I don't like you._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yeah right. U love me, nerd._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are going to be so embarrassed when you read this back later._

_**Gail:** _   
_Not if I delete my messages. Peck's don't get embarrassed, or was that high? I can't remember. Peck's aren't supposed to do a lot of things._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I still have all the evidence. Will you stop fucking around now and tell me what happened?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I got burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrned. Burny! Burny! Burny! Oi! Oi! Oi!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Okay, how bad is it?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Well it hurts a lot. So I assume it's bad, Holly. Really, really, truly baddddd. Kinda like when I was sick, remember that?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_This is a chemical burn?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Drain cleaner on my wrist._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Shit._

_**Gail:** _   
_That is what I have been saying. I think our brains are connected or something. Are u reading my mind right now?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Are you thinking "I am such an asshole for ignoring my friend Holly all day and for giving her a heart attack just now"?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Probably._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes, then I'd say I am reading your mind._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well get out of there! I have private thoughts up there!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am starting to think you don't have a brain up there at all._

_**Gail:** _   
_Will u pick me up in 90 minutes?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Of course I will you idiot._

_**Gail:** _   
_U don't plan on sleeping with any of my ex boyfriends do u?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No. Definitely not on the agenda._

_**Gail:** _   
_Good good. U can still be my friend then._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Take a nap._

_**Gail:** _   
_Okie dokie._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_And Gail?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, my meerkat?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Your middle names aren't really Fionnula Minerva are they?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No, that would just be dumb now wouldnt it, Holly Molly Stewart._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Thank Christ! And no, the M in my email address does not stand for Molly._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'm sleepy._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Then go to sleep. See you when you wake up._

_**Gail:** _   
_Mmm k. Elephants._


	13. Chapter 13

_**Gail:** _   
_Lo?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Hey, you're awake again._

_**Gail:** _   
_You disappeared on me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I know. Don't worry. I am still here. I tucked you in about two hours ago. Can't sleep so I am just reading in bed. Did you need anything? Can I get you a glass of water? Are you warm enough?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No, no. Stay in bed where it's warm. I'm fine. Your couch is taking good care of me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sarah._

_**Gail:** _   
_What?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_My couch. Her name is Sarah._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sarah the couch?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol, yes. I name a lot of my belongings. Holly, why are you revealing this?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Beats me. You're weird._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So I've heard. :S_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sarah will be the first woman I will have ever slept with._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ha. I feel like I should inform you that she is a big fat cheater._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well we are like two peas in a pod then._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sorry if I drooled on you earlier. Let me know if you need anything dry cleaned._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Don't worry, my sweater survived. My hand however is a little worse for wear._

_**Gail:** _   
_That's embarrassing. I'm sorry, I didn't realise I had latched on. I must be a lot stronger than I look._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It's ok, nothing a few painkillers didn't fix. Jk. I think your meds kicked in again pretty quickly after we left the hospital. You didn't even make it through 5 minutes of the movie._

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol, what were we watching again? And did I cause any permanent damage?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sound of Music. There are some bruised bones but I won't bore you with the details of which ones, seeing as there are so many._

_**Gail:** _   
_How very thoughtful of you and let me guess, I was talking about My Favourite Things?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You were singing about it actually (rather beautifully I might add) but just about one "thing"_

_**Gail:** _   
_Well going by what I had been writing to you about during my last high at the hospital, which I have just read back (omg they should write books about us), I bet I can guess what that one thing is._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am a lot of things but never have I been someone's favourite._

_**Gail:** _   
_I think that's incredibly sad and untrue. I think you'd be everybody's favourite once they got past the initial urge to want to pull their own hair out from all the mindless babbling._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are very sweet._

_**Gail:** _   
_That's why the 'rents named me Gail Sweet Peck._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You sure your middle name isn't Liar?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No comment._

_**Gail:** _   
_So why can't you sleep? You're not worried about me are you?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm that transparent?_

_**Gail:** _   
_The doc said I'd be perfectly fine._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail_

_**Gail:** _   
_Hol..._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nevermind._


	14. Chapter 14

_**Gail:** _   
_U still awake? If I just woke u, please don't answer. I don't think my drug-addled brain could come to terms with the guilt._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Still wide awake._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What's up? You in pain?_

_**Gail:** _   
_A bit, Dr. Stewart. Took a couple of painkillers 30 minutes ago, now there is just a dull throb._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Good. I mean about the painkillers, not about the pain._

_**Gail:** _   
_So what are u reading? If you still are that is._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am not sure I want to tell you._

_**Gail:** _   
_It's purely for the articles, right?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Wouldn't know. Haven't gotten past the front cover._

_**Gail:** _   
_That good, huh? What a perv._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm only human._

_**Gail:** _   
_I thought u were an entirely new species. Actually I made u in a lab._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Tailor-made to get along with your specific breed of crazy._

_**Gail:** _   
_You're quite cute really. Actually what I created was basically just a meerkat with glasses._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I see._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well not really. This particular meerkat is blind as a bat._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol, you're funny._

_**Gail:** _   
_I must be. I can hear u laughing. So what are u really reading?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Hunger Games. Have a very annoying intern who won't stop crapping on about it and I can't stand listening to something I don't understand, even if it is something I normally wouldn't read._

_**Gail:** _   
_I can see how that would be a particularly challenging for u._

_**Gail:** _   
_Team Peeta all the way._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You've read them?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I do read quite a bit, nerd. Helps keep the voices at bay._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You should try Coronary Atherosclerosis: An analyses of an autopsy. Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_I have._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Seriously?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Ya._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_When?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Right after I stole it from your lab the day I met u. I read most of it later that night after we had eaten._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why did you want to read that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_For the same reason I usually read something - I was interested._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh. I thought I was annoying the shit out of you that day, trying to teach you all that stuff?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh, u were :) Still found it interesting though._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Great! New stuff to talk about!_

_**Gail:** _   
_*Cough* No *Cough*_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I knew you were too good to be true._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So why aren't you sleeping?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I keep having weird dreams because of my drug-addled brain._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well I haven't heard you screaming, so I am hoping they aren't too weird._

_**Gail:** _   
_U were in one._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am assuming I was a meerkat._

_**Gail:** _   
_U really are a mind reader._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It's my meerkat-given talent._

_**Gail:** _   
_What am I thinking now?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are thinking, "Where the fuck is that present Lunchbox promised me." Which reminds me, where is my present? The one you too had mentioned at the airport the other day?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I gave u that present._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_If you did, I don't remember._

_**Gail:** _   
_It came in form of a hug._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ha! That's funny because the extra present I had gotten you for having to wait for the real one, was also the hug._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I hugged u, so it doesn't count. U still owe me one._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_A present?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Cheeses! No, a hug! Get with the program!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I may just give you that present when you least expect it._

_**Gail:** _   
_U do that. So where is my real present then?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_On the fridge._

_**Gail:** _   
_Crapsticks. Now I have to get up._

_**Gail:** _   
_How's the crotch?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Two hugs and a knee to the crotch in the space of three days? Yeah, couldn't be better, you monkey. Plus you nearly made me fall out of bed._

_**Gail:** _   
_Whoopsie._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_My mother won't be pleased that I can no longer have children._

_**Gail:** _   
_I can't believe u went and got this made._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Um, I kinda made it myself. I have a kit._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Stop fucking laughing! You will wake the neighbours!_

_**Gail:** _   
_I'm sorry, it's just soooooo adorable. This is the best fridge magnet a girl could ever ask for. Thank u._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are just lucky I decided to bring the drawings home with me. I didn't actually read your email until I had boarded._

_**Gail:** _   
_See! U are a mind reader!_

_**Gail:** _   
_I will treasure this meerkat forever._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You're weird._

_**Gail:** _   
_Thank you._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are very welcome._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Don't freak out, okay? I am coming to get some ice for my crotch._


	15. Chapter 15

_**Gail:** _   
_It wasn't too gross was it?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Are you referring to my breakfast this morning or your horrible morning breath?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I hate you._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes, I could tell by the way your knee launched viciously at my nether regions last night._

_**Gail:** _   
_Do people still say nether regions?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I could be more clinical if you like?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yeah, let's not? Or I'm afraid I might be here all day._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well, let me know, because I have been getting a lot of calls about being hired out for parties_

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh, I bet you have! You would be a hoot for sure!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So it was breakfast you were referring to?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, u loser._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, I am actually a winner._

_**Gail:** _   
_Tell that to your nether regions._

_**Gail:** _   
_What I was about to say was, you tit, if I had realised you were such a grumpy bum in the morning I would have gone out and bought you something more palatable, at least then you could have faced the day on a much brighter note._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am a tit now? And what are you talking about? You are like my own little ray of sunshine, no need for anything else as far as I'm concerned._

_**Gail:** _   
_I think I just vomited a little in my mouth._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Besides, I think you are selling yourself short. It's been such a long time since I have woken up to the smell of someone cooking in my kitchen, so thank you._

_**Gail:** _   
_That's a little sad, but my question was HOW WAS MY BREAKFAST?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh lol. Gail, it was delicious. Best banana bread I have ever tasted, even better when being served in bed. Mind you, a coffee wouldn't have gone astray..._

_**Gail:** _   
_I was always a terrible barista. I think I may need lessons in that futuristic coffee machine of yours._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am sure that can be arranged._

_**Gail:** _   
_If I can't learn how to make a simple coffee my mother may disown me for good, so at least I got something right today._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What did I do to deserve such a breakfast this morning anyway?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Lots._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Care to be specific?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't want you to get a big head._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You have said so yourself, not much risk of that happening when it's already at capacity._

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh right, I did say that at some point didn't I..._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Among other delightful things._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well, naturally lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_No, really, I just wanted to apologise for being such a dick yesterday. I tend to run in sticky situations._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sometimes up trees. I thought for a moment there I had driven you to actually get high on the job._

_**Gail:** _   
_OMG, shit! No, and I am so so so so sorry for that. And then for scaring you with that hospital crap. I should have just bit my tongue and got McNally to take me home._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, it's okay. I was just happy to see that you were okay when I arrived. That's all that mattered to me._

_**Gail:** _   
_And thank you for taking care of me last night. You didn't have to do that._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You reached out and that's what friends do. I'd hope you do the same for me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, I know you'd do the same for me but unlike you, I wouldn't expect you to feed me cheese puffs one by one._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'd try. I may fail miserably, but I'd try._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You have never failed to be nice to me before and that is because you like me, right?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh, you caught onto that did you? Because I don't think I have told you that enough in the last 24 hours it seems :P How embarrassing._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Add a few more in person too :D Do you like me enough to do me a favour?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't know, do I?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I don't know, do you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Nerd, pleeeeeeease._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Will you come to a thing with me next week? Keep me sane?_

_**Gail:** _   
_A thing? Could you be more specific?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I could._

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_So tell me, what happens at this "thing?"_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We eat._

_**Gail:** _   
_That's a good start. What else?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We may have a drink or two._

_**Gail:** _   
_Always good._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Okay, good then._

_**Gail:** _   
_That's it? That is all you are going to tell me?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_There may be tents involved._

_**Gail:** _   
_I am seriously hoping you are referring to marquees and not actual sleeping tents._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Right, yes, of course. That is exactly what I am referring to..._

_**Gail:** _   
_Good one lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_The last time I was supposed go camping I was made blatantly aware that my boyfriend was emotionally cheating on me and then well, stuff happened..._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well no chance of that happening this time. You are as single as a... I can't think of anything funny to write here._

_**Gail:** _   
_*sticks fist in own mouth* Oh no!_

_**Gail:** _   
_This isn't some lesbian love in or something is it? Because I have read about these gatherings before and I am thinking all the fleece would be more frightening than the wildlife._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are insatiable._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't know what that means but thank you._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol. Just one lesbian, my cousin Mike and some extra who I have been told is very cute._

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh, so this is a wing-woman type of situation... This could be fun. I have never done that before._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol, OMG! If that is the way you are thinking then this is going to be more fun for me. The cutie is a dude. But more importantly you basically just said you would come with._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't think I wrote that. Anyway, I am on hiatus from everything relationship-y._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well have a think about it. It is a two-night thing but I am only going for one. I am going on Friday._

_**Gail:** _   
_Shit, sorry, I have something on that night._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Bugger._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yeah, isn't it?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_:( I can tell you're really cut up about it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Aww, cheer up! I have a really good excuse._

_**Gail:** _   
_I promised Dov I'd wash his hair that night._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We leave at 10am._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I have to work the next day._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We leave at 8am._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I can't be late for work! I start at like 3pm. Lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We leave at 6am._

_**Gail:** _   
_Fine. Midday it is._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Winner._

_**Gail:** _   
_Tit._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes you are._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Shout out to my haiku twitter buddies.**

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Hey there gorgeous friend of mine_   
_With eyes of steely blue._   
_Cheese puffs you may want to eat_   
_But I have something new._   
_Loser you may think I am_   
_Shut up! I am a winner!_   
_Playing chef is how I roll_   
_What's that? It's chicken dinner!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Did you wanna come over? I am drinking beers. Making some kind of baked chicken concoction type thingy (that's the best I can describe it. No tomato!) and listening very loudly to my dad's 70's punk rock LP collection. My neighbours are probably not too happy right about now. Your colleagues may be hearing from them soon._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Did I mention I have beer?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Beer and chicken?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Chicken and beer? And more importantly, moi?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sorry, I was in the shower._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh are you going out?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I am._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ah._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Bum._

_**Gail:** _   
_U have no idea._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'd much prefer to be over there with u and your chicken concoction type thingy. Yummo. Plus I do enjoy a good rhyme now and then but I much prefer haiku._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Well if you change your mind, I will be here. You know... swaying side to side like a 12 year old girl?_

_**Gail:** _   
_U can't STILL be upset about that can u? Lol_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I had taken great pride in my dancing skills up until that wedding, so yes, I bloody well am!_

_**Gail:** _   
_I apologise. It was very cute. U were very cute._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Better. :)_

_**Gail:** _   
_You are too easy._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_That's what she said._

_**Gail:** _   
_Have a good night and don't drink too much, okay?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Don't worry about me. I can hold my beer._

_**Gail:** _   
_It's more for my own wellbeing. I can't have u passing out at the wheel tomorrow and I don't want to find u alone, face down in your chicken._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You make a good point. I will stop when I get a good buzz on. Wow! How depressing am I?_   
_You have a good night too._

_**Gail:** _   
_Doubtful. I'm sure I'll be whining about it later._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I will be counting down the seconds._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't think u will be waiting too long then._

_**Gail:** _   
_How'd the chicken turn out?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Chicken-y and dry. I re-read the recipe 100 times! I don't understand why this stuff keeps happening to me, Gail. Like, seriously? What the hell am I doing wrong? I did the calculations._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well... If u did the calculations lol_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_How would you say this exactly? Oh right... Shut the fuck up!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Aww sweety, I think your oven is trying to tell u something. At least it still tasted like chicken?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It's not fair :(_

_**Gail:** _   
_I know. :(_

_**Gail:** _   
_It can't have been worse than my dinner. I think my date was trying to kill me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You had a date?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, it turns out I did._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am not sure I follow. I thought you had sworn off all men?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Was supposed to meet my mother for dinner but as soon as I get to the restaurant she gets up and walks out, leaving me sitting there with some hockey dude named James._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Did he kill you with his boring personality?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Actually no, he was interesting enough and very funny actually. However, he did order for me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh no, the poor guy never stood a chance._

_**Gail:** _   
_Actually we kinda did stuff._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Stuff?_

_**Gail:** _   
_In his car._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Stuff in his car?_

_Lunch:_   
_Oh, stuff in his car._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yeppp._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't want to scar u with gross man thoughts._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_How thoughtful of you. I did start out having sex with men, you know?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I didn't have sex with him! I got the crap outta there before that could happen._

_**Gail:** _   
_Anyway, u have always seemed to me like one of those lesbians who had only ever slept with women._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh, when you said stuff... I thought. Whatever._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_And it's Gold Star._

_**Gail:** _   
_Huh?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_A Gold Star lesbian? A woman who has only ever slept with other women. I wish I had figured it out sooner._

_**Gail:** _   
_Why didn't u?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sorry, too personal?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yeah no. I am just thinking out my answer._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yeah no? That's convincing._

_**Gail:** _   
_Take your time then because I need to take another shower and wash the puke I just noticed off my sweater._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What the what?_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why do you have vomit on you? Were you sick? And you warned me about getting drunk? lol your brain works in weird ways, Peck._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I'm not the one driving us to camp doom tomorrow! :P and FYI, I didn't drink anything tonight!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh. Food poisoning?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't think so, I feel perfectly fine now. It was all very weird._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok, that is weird. What happened exactly?_

_**Gail:** _   
_We were parked outside my place, you know... doin stuff and all of a sudden I am out of his car, he's driving off, I'm standing there shaking like a nutcase and I can't breath because my chest is so tight, and I am getting dizzier by the second. Next thing I know I am hovering over a pot plant emptying out my stomach. I nearly decided to take myself to the hospital but I eventually caught my breath. I thought I might have been having some sort of viral episode. It was kinda scary._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Has this ever happened before?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Never._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I think you had a panic attack._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ha! I did not._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail, you had a panic attack._

_**Gail:** _   
_No I didn't. :P Why exactly would I be having a panic attack?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I think only you can be the one answer that._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Usually panic attacks or anxiety attacks are brought on by increased stress, however it's usually stress that has been building over an extended period of time. You could have been working up to this for a month or even longer._

_**Gail:** _   
_I have been stressed for 15 years, does that count?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol, ok. Maybe not that long. Have you been feeling particularly anxious these past few months?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't know really. No more than usual._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well maybe a little. I haven't been sleeping as well I guess and these dates my mother keeps setting me up on certainly aren't helping. More so recently._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok, so that kind of makes more sense. So what happened in the car before this episode? Did he say or do something to scare you, to set you off?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I think u are enjoying playing doctor a little too much._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Don't be ridiculous. I don't enjoy knowing my friend is hurting._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'm not hurting, Holly._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Okay, maybe not._

_**Gail:** _   
_But u are a worrier._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_That I am._

_**Gail:** _   
_We were kissing and then he may have been mumbling some shit in my ear while he had his hand up my skirt, about to go for it and that's when I bolted._

_**Gail:** _   
_This isn't about sex is it? Because I love sex._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail, I have no Idea. I am not trained in this particular area._

_**Gail:** _   
_But u know me. What are u thinking?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Maybe this has something to do with Nick? Maybe there is some residual guilt there. Perhaps you aren't ready to be intimate again with someone. Maybe it is these dates that are in fact stressing you out. Maybe you are worried about trusting someone again. I have no idea. There are so many possibilities with you._

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol, thanks?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sorry, that came out wrong._

_**Gail:** _   
_No, but u are right. My head is a mess. It is always a mess._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes it was a horrible thing to do and for a short time a felt guilty, but now I couldn't give two hoots about Nick. I really don't. He didn't care, he wanted an out, so he got it. I haven't been thinking about him at all. Andy is the one I feel hurt by, but I am not to dwelling on that either._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Maybe you should talk to your therapist about this._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ugh. Her? She is all-knowing and shit._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Precisely._

_**Gail:** _   
_She's annoying._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So am I._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I like you._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So Ive heard._

_**Gail:** _   
_I like talking to you._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I like talking to you to, but you should still go though. It will help you realise stuff. Uncover things you never knew you were holding on to. It helped me._

_**Gail:** _   
_Was this for your dad?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No. It was about what you had asked me earlier._

_**Gail:** _   
_As to why u weren't being gay sooner?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol. You have such a way with words, you know that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, I am a regular wordsmith._

_**Gail:** _   
_And I just read that back. What a dick! I think it was the word "being" that made that sentence particularly delightful. Sorry!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You make me laugh._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'm glad my ignorance is amusing to u._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail, you are anything but ignorant._

_**Gail:** _   
_Maybe I should be expanding my dating pool._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_To old guys?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sure, why not. Ladies too. Maybe I'm missing out. I'm tired. Think I am gonna go to bed._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lol, what?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Shhh. We can talk about my potential gayness tomorrow._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_And what an interesting conversation that will be._

_**Gail:** _   
_U know it. Night, nerd._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Goodnight, Gail._

_**Gail:** _   
_U really want to call me insane right now, don't you?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nope._


	18. Chapter 18

_**Gail:** _   
_Sexy apron._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I make it work._

_**Gail:** _   
_U get it at science camp when u were a little nerd?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sure. That's less embarrassing._

_**Gail:** _   
_I knew it!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yeah they have science camp for big nerds too._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Is that where u normally keep the salad?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Shit. Stop distracting me._

_**Gail:** _   
_It's okay. I like my salad dirty._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You are incorrigible._

_**Gail:** _   
_U make it too easy._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_When I typed that, it wanted to auto correct it to "incurable"_

_**Gail:** _   
_So ointment won't help then?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Afraid not._

_**Gail:** _   
_How long have I got to live?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Not long now._

_**Gail:** _   
_Will I make it to dinner at least? Because that smells yum._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am surprised you still want to eat after all the s'more's. You know they were supposed to be for dessert, right?_

_**Gail:** _   
_U should know by now I do everything backwards._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I bet you came out of Elaine backwards._

_**Gail:** _   
_My mother claims I was adopted._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_So cousin Mike seems to think he knows something we don't._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yeah, what's that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_That we are having a secret affair._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Of course he does. That's because he thinks I'm screwing every woman I come in contact with._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well he says if we want to convince him that we are not, u have to stop making googly eyes at me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Wtf? I am not! It's not my fault your hair is on fire!_

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_I hate u. I hate all of u._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, you "like" me._

_**Gail:** _   
_No!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sarah said you looked liked her crazy uncle Merle when he rain dances. She told me not to tell you that btw._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'll know never to tell u any of my secrets._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I have seen Merle and I have to agree._

_**Gail:** _   
_I am glad I could come on this trip to be your entertainment._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Will you sing campfire songs later?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No!_

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_So how many "calculations" have u had to make in order to get the bacon crispy enough?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Get stuffed!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Not likely. I'll be dead by the time we eat._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Thanks for helping by the way._

_**Gail:** _   
_My pleasure, nerd._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_This "extra" by the way is a bit of a dick. Why am I sitting near him exactly?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_His name is Richard and it's warm over there. There is some extra fleece in my tent if you want it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Do u want to come and kill him for me?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why am I doing that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_He just said we are too beautiful to be lesbians. I told him we are not._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Hey, speak for yourself!_

_**Gail:** _   
_I told him we are not together, dear._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh lol. Anyway, can't you do it? I am a little busy here slaving away making my woman burgers._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'll hide the evidence later. How's that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Fine. I'm hungry._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I know. Very soon. I would tell you to nibble on your arm but you are all bones._

_**Gail:** _   
_U like bones._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_True dat._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Tell Sarah that her husband is a dick._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_She knows._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_You know how we are supposedly having a torrid affair?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes and it's torrid now?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I am only assuming it would be._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No reason why it couldn't._

_**Gail:** _   
_Right? I have now since told Dick it's true, we are indeed having an affair but he doesn't believe me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why would you do that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Because he is coming on a little too strong for my liking._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Fair enough._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Save me! I need saving now!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Busy._

_**Gail:** _   
_This is all your fault anyway. U brought me here._

_**Gail:** _   
_U have to come over here and pretend to be my girlfriend._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You're drunk._

_**Gail:** _   
_I am not drunk! I have had one beer._

_**Gail:** _   
_Pleeeeeese? Hold my hand. Touch my hair. Hold me close. Or whatever it is lesbians do. Lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You're serious?_

_**Gail:** _   
_What if he knocks on my tent tonight? Do u want me to have another panic attack, nerd?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Pulling out the big guns I see._

_**Gail:** _   
_If you don't come over here and hold my hand I am going to come over there and throw u down so hard and kiss that smirk right off your face._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Jesus! Chill! I am coming._

_**Gail:** _   
_That's what she said._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You suck!_

_**Gail:** _   
_If you're lucky._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Stop it!_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Thank you, Captain Obvious. Like I'm not painfully aware of that already? I can't help it, okay?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Is that my new nickname?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sorry, that message wasn't meant for you._

_**Gail:** _   
_Thought I might have nose dialled something interesting and not noticed._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nope._

_**Gail:** _   
_Are u sure you are going to be warm enough in there? I did steal your fleece after all._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Very warm, thank you. Enjoy my fleece._

_**Gail:** _   
_U may not get it back._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Looks better on you anyway._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Shit! What was that?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_An owl._

_**Gail:** _   
_Fuck me!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Another owl._

_**Gail:** _   
_U wanna squeeze into my tent and play some cards?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok, but we have to be quiet. No talking._

_**Gail:** _   
_YOU are telling me not to talk? YOU?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Why did everyone have to pitch their tents so close? I can hear everybody breathing. What's with Darth Vader next door?_

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Okay that was definitely a bear or something._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nope, just another owl._

_**Gail:** _   
_I cant believe u stole all my money and now u are making me sleep in a separate tent._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I won it fair and square! Had I realised you would be such a scaredy cat I would have made an effort to borrow a bigger tent. But I own two singles so…_

_**Gail:** _   
_Whatever._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Will you stop flashing your torch into my tent? It's getting in my eyes._

_**Gail:** _   
_Who is R.W?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What?_

_**Gail:** _   
_There are initials written in marker on a patch on the door zipper thingy._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No one._

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol, ok._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Why don't u have a girlfriend?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You take a hint really well don't you. Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'm just curious._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail Curious Peck._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sounds better than my real middle name._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What is your real one?_

_**Gail:** _   
_U first, avoider._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Um, nope!_

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_I know u work a lot, but u are the smartest, funniest and most caring person I have ever met. I don't understand why someone hasn't scooped u up already._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You forgot beautiful._

_**Gail:** _   
_Fine, that too._

_**Lunchbox:** _

_Well that's very nice of you to say but it's complicated and I am just not that outgoing in the romance department._

_**Gail:** _   
_OK._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Did your heart get ripped to pieces or something?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Or something._

_**Gail:** _   
_How bad was it?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Omg! You are relentless!_

_**Gail:** _   
_U know all my mess._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sorry, never mind._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Fine. Twice. Twice I got my heart smashed but for very different reasons._

_**Gail:** _   
_Smashed?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Pretty much._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Okay, not so much my last girlfriend, even though I was with her A LOT longer. We were together 7 years and we broke up about 6 months ago._

_**Gail:** _   
_Wow, that is long. Are u okay with it being over?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Totally. Have completely moved passed it._

_**Gail:** _   
_So u have only ever had two girlfriends?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sex included?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, they withheld. Wtf?_

_**Gail:** _   
_:P I meant have u only slept with 2 women?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Um, nosey much? But yes, just the 2._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I date, but I have never been one to just jump into bed with someone just for the hell of it. I have only ever been in long term relationships. No oat-sewing here. Maybe I should though..._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What's your magic number then? :D_

_**Gail:** _   
_0 for the moment. ;)_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I meant men, you doofus. It's only fair we even the keel._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Though keep me updated on the other tally. I forgot about your potential gayness. You did play gay particularly well earlier. Is there something you want to tell me?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Other than your neck smells particularly nice today? Nope._

_**Gail:** _   
_Anyway… my magic number is 8 or 9._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Decisive._

_**Gail:** _   
_What about u and men?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_That number has been wiped from my memory._

_**Gail:** _   
_That bad huh?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_At the time I didn't think so, but after my first time with a woman (my first girlfriend) …_

_**Gail:** _   
_There was no going back…_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Completely life changing. I was dead. Gone. All those years wasted._

_**Gail:** _   
_That's kind of sad._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Okay, I am exaggerating, it was like 3 years. I came out when I was 22._

_**Gail:** _   
_Were u scared?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Of coming out?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, but also having sex with a woman for the first time?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I guess. There were a lot of nerves when I told them. I babbled. You know how I like to babble._

_**Gail:** _   
_No, really? Hadn't noticed at all. :P_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I knew my parents loved me and they would accept me, but there was an element of fear there in the moment that I told them. I had heard some horrible stories of parents disowning their children, including my girlfriends at the time. Actually her parents were the reason we broke up eventually. She went back to them when she got sick._

_**Gail:** _   
_Omg, she passed away? I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nope. Still alive and kicking. Heard through the grape vine a year later she was basically married (to a woman btw) and has since had like two kids._

_**Gail:** _   
_Shit._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I was utterly devastated at the time. I was so completely in love with her. She got Non-Hodgkin lymphoma and everything changed. She wouldn't let me help her. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't even smile at her without her getting angry._

_**Gail:** _   
_But you love to smile. :(_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_:)_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Her parents arrived one day and they packed up all her things and she moved across the country to be with them. I never saw or heard from her again._

_**Gail:** _   
_Not even to tell u she was okay?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No. I had heard reports from friends though, so that helped a tiny bit. Didn't get out of bed for weeks though._

_**Gail:** _   
_That is kind of fucked._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It is indeed._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I was a bundle of nerves when we first had sex too._

_**Gail:** _   
_You babbled then too didn't u?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_There may have been some babbling, yes. I was so clumsy, it was hilarious._

_**Gail:** _   
_Glad u can laugh about it._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am a quick study. A few minutes later…_

_**Gail:** _   
_Of course u are, I'd expect nothing less._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_And then quite a few more times in the following hours._

_**Gail:** _   
_Okay, u horndog._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You asked!_

_**Gail:** _   
_That's the problem with men._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_They don't know what they are doing half the time?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Pretty much._

_**Gail:** _   
_Kinda jealous._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What does you're middle name start with?_

_**Gail:** _   
_H._

_**Gail:** _   
_Is yours Merle?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Funny._

_**Gail:** _   
_Meredith, Monica, Mary, Missy, Mindy._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You're going to have to be a little more imaginative._

_**Gail:** _   
_Holly Minge Stewart_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Seriously?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Ssssh! U will wake up the bears!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Minx, Minion, Muffin, Monkey?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail Hermione Stewart_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why are you laughing like a hyena?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Holly_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail…_

_**Gail:** _   
_My answer is yes._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Your answer to what?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I will marry u. Again._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Huh?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Never mind. It doesn't matter._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok… Lol. You are so weird._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_U should come to Friday night dinner next week seeing as I am missing it tonight to go camping. It can be your punishment._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Not so much a punishment. I love awkward family stuff._

_**Gail:** _   
_I apologise for my mother in advanced._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Harrison_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Your middle name is Harrison?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Legally, yep. My father promised my brother he could middle name me. Steve was 5._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I love it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Thought u might. Steve actually wanted my full name to be Gail Harrison Ford Peck._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Your brother is awesome._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'll make sure not to tell him that._

_**Gail:** _   
_If u ask my mother my middle name is Henrietta. She got quite the surprise when she saw my birth certificate for the first time. My dad got her to sign it when she was half asleep with me hanging off her tit._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I like the sound of your dad._

_**Gail:** _   
_He is the only reason I could stand living at the family home for so long._

_**Gail:** _   
_If you ever meet him ask him about it when my mother is in the room. He will enjoy that and I like to watch my mother squirm._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I can probably manage that._

_**Gail:** _   
_Mum wanted to get it officially changed but dad said if that were ever going to happen it would have to be when I was old enough to make the decision myself._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Go dad! Did you ever feel like changing it?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Of course not! It makes my mother crazy!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We have something in common then._

_**Gail:** _   
_You like to make your mother crazy too?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I do, but for reasons other than torture. But that's not what I was referring to. My middle name is also a guys name._

_**Gail:** _   
_What is it?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm not telling._

_**Gail:** _   
_WTF?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I think there should be some mystery left in our relationship or this bitch might go stale._

_**Gail:** _   
_Then we should probably stop typing._

_**Lunchbox:** _ _  
I think I am getting carpal tunnel._


	20. Chapter 20

_**Nash:** _   
_Hi there, who's my favourite blonde angel?_

_**Gail:** _   
_What do u want, Nash?_

_**Nash:** _   
_You know the friendly thing to do would be to say hello back._

_**Gail:** _   
_Hello, lovely. What can I help u with today? Better?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Much better. If you are not too busy this morning would you mind picking up Leo for me from mum's in about an hour? They should be back from church. You're off shift, right?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sure. My boring empty life can be put on hold for the morning._

_**Nash:** _   
_Perk up! Could you spend an hour with my beautiful child then drop him off to me at work?_

_**Gail:** _   
_What do I do with the kid until then?_

_**Nash:** _   
_You always ask that, yet he comes home saying he has had the best time with his Aunty Gail. I have seen you with him and how you deal with kids during work - you are a natural, I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'll return the favour when you have little Peck's of your own._

_**Gail:** _   
_Barf._

_**Nash:** _   
_Charming._

_**Nash:** _   
_Just don't feed him too many donuts please._

_**Gail:** _   
_I would never! What are u working on anyway?_

_**Nash:** _   
_I'm currently with your brother._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ew. Gross!_

_**Nash:** _   
_You're such a brat. It's not like that._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yet._

_**Nash:** _   
_We are just friends having breakfast._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sure. Friends. Breakfast. Long meaningful looks over dripping syrup._

_**Gail:** _   
_Maybe I will be looking after some of your own little Peck's someday._

_**Nash:** _   
_Shut it! We are about to go deal with some evidence at the morgue. Send me a message before you come by, make sure I'm at the precinct?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Okie dokie. Steal my brothers bacon. He loves that._

_-_   
_**Gail:** _   
_Hey, about ten minutes away._

_**Nash:** _   
_Actually could you bring Leo by the morgue? Still down here dealing with evidence. We are with Dr Stewart in her lab. She has some cool stuff she said Leo can play with._

_**Gail:** _   
_She does have cool stuff. Does Holly know I am coming?_

_**Nash:** _   
_You? No._

_**Gail:** _   
_K._

* * *

_**Nash:** _   
_That was awkward._

_**Gail:** _   
_What was?_

_**Nash:** _   
_You and Holly? You have a fight? You guys have been practically attached at the hip of late._

_**Gail:** _   
_In order to fight she would actually have to be talking to me._

_**Gail:** _   
_And before u accuse me of fucking up, I didn't do anything. At least I think I didn't? She hasn't been returning my calls or messages over the past 24 hours which is unusual for us._

_**Nash:** _   
_I wasn't gonna say that at all! I'll leave that shit to your mother. I hope you can figure it out though. She makes you more of a pleasure to be around._

_**Nash:** _   
_Not that you weren't already of course :)_

_**Gail:** _   
_Good save, not!_

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_I met someone._

_**Nash:** _   
_Really? When? How? On one of your mothers dates? Wait, you want to meet me for a drink at The Penny in 20?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Actually, I'd prefer to sit here with my bucket of cheese puffs._

_**Nash:** _   
_What? This is too exciting for cheese puffs. We need tequila._

_**Gail:** _   
_And I'd prefer not to have this conversation in person._

_**Nash:** _   
_Ok, I'll give you a call then._

_**Gail:** _   
_Or on the phone._

_**Nash:** _   
_Ok, you are being particularly weird tonight._

_**Gail:** _   
_Am I? I can't tell._

_**Nash:** _   
_So?_

_**Gail:** _   
_What?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Tell me about this mystery guy? What are they like? Where did you meet? Have you done stuff?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Nosey much?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Like your not?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Whatever._

_**Nash:** _   
_C'mon spill. You obviously want or need to._

_**Gail:** _   
_Get ready for the word vomit._

_**Nash:** _   
_Go right ahead._

_**Gail:** _   
_They're smart. Too smart actually but they don't make me feel stupid. Generous, warm and caring. I mean I usually hate "warm and caring," but I don't with them. They're so so funny and sarcastic. They seem to get me and my "brand of crazy," as they like to put it._

_**Nash:** _   
_Sounds perfect, Gail! Where did you meet?_

_**Gail:** _   
_On the job._

_**Nash:** _   
_I had no idea._

_**Gail:** _   
_No one did, I even didn't. But it's complicated._

_**Nash:** _   
_Why's that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I am so confused. I haven't actually said anything to them about it._

_**Nash:** _   
_Do they like you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sometimes I think they do. But you know how crazy I am, I could be imagining things._

_**Nash:** _   
_You are the most perceptive person I know. It's kind of frightening sometimes._

_**Gail:** _   
_Argh. It's all fucked up._

_**Nash:** _   
_Don't say that. And don't ignore it either. I know you, you are more likely to just let it go than to put yourself out there._

_**Gail:** _   
_Meh._

_**Nash:** _   
_Don't meh me._

_**Gail:** _   
_So u know my friend Holly?_

_**Nash:** _   
_I vaguely recall her after spending half the day with her today. Dr. Stewart, right? Tall, brunette, athletic. Kind of makes you want to pull your own hair out when you stare at her?_

_**Gail:** _   
_That would be the one._

_**Nash:** _   
_Please tell me it's not her ex-boyfriend or something? You know how that turned out with you and Andy._

_**Gail:** _   
_That would probably be easier._

_**Nash:** _   
_Okay, so what about her then?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Use those detective skills, Nash._

_**Nash:** _   
_My detective skills?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Holy crap!_

_**Gail:** _   
_My thoughts exactly._

_**Nash:** _   
_What the? How the? What?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol._

_**Nash:** _   
_You like her? Like, like her?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Perceptive aren't you._

_**Nash:** _   
_Sorry, it was just a bit of a shock._

_**Gail:** _   
_I know!_

_**Nash:** _   
_Not that it matters or anything, but is she even gay?_

_**Gail:** _   
_She is._

_**Nash:** _   
_Well that's a plus? Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, it's lucky I don't have to turn her too, just myself. :P_

_**Gail:** _   
_But it's not even like that._

_**Nash:** _   
_No?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I haven't been sitting here thinking "Oh crap! I'm gay! I'm gay! I'm gay!" all of a sudden. I am not freaking out about it, yet._

_**Gail:** _   
_It just gradually crept up on me. I didn't know exactly what I was feeling. I just found myself gravitating towards her and I didn't think anything of it. I liked her company and she makes me try new things and I barely even protest. I mean I do, but she just laughs at me. Actually she is always laughing at me come to think of it._

_**Nash:** _   
_You are pretty laughable._

_**Gail:** _   
_Shut up!_

_**Nash:** _   
_So are you attracted to her? Physically?_

_**Gail:** _   
_It's kind of frightening how attractive I find her to be honest. It wasn't always like that though. I mean, I can appreciate an attractive women like anyone, and I never denied she wasn't pretty. Pretty sure I have even told her a few hundred times, but it was innocent. At least I thought it was innocent. Then this past week after she took care of me when I burnt my hand, all of a sudden i would catch myself staring at her in a non-friends kind of way. I wasn't obvious or anything, but I think on Friday when we went camping I might have got a little bit more awkward than usual and omg, Traci I was incessant with questions about her love life._

_**Nash:** _   
_Rewind a sec. Gail Peck went camping? In nature?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes! I told u, Traci! She makes me do things!_

_**Nash:** _   
_Lol._

_**Nash:** _   
_Were you sleeping in the same tent?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No, thank fuck! But where my head was at I am surprised I didn't ask to sleep in her tent. I was scared shitless out there and not just because of the bears, tigers and lions and shit._

_**Gail:** _   
_U know what the worst part of this is?_

_**Nash:** _   
_I am finding it very hard to find anything that is wrong with this._

_**Gail:** _   
_I can't seem to stop talking. She is turning me into a mushy babbling freak!_

_**Nash:** _   
_I am just glad you got it out. Guess what?_

_**Gail:** _   
_This is just a dream and I am in fact still on Oxy for my burnt wrist?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Afraid not. Actually, there is someone at your door with tequila and ice cream._


	21. Chapter 21

_**Holly:** _   
_Mum, I am freaking the fuck out!_

_**Mum:** _   
_Baby, could you possibly freak the fuck out in say 40 minutes time? I am in a rather interesting lecture at the moment._

_**Holly:** _   
_Why, sure mum! No problem! I don't want my potential future happiness to get in way of, what it is this time? How to stop your neighbours dog from stealing your underwear?_

_**Mum:** _   
_You joke, but if that lecture existed you know I would be there in a flash. This is "The future of food." It's Gastronomy or something._

_**Holly:** _   
_Of course! I should have guessed! Don't worry your potential future grandchildren can wait while you learn about "or something."_

_**Mum:** _   
_Thanks baby, I knew you'd understand._

_**Mum:** _   
_I love you._

_**Holly:** _   
_Yeah yeah._

* * *

_**Evie:** _   
_How goes the hugely inappropriate crush this afternoon, sis?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Still huge and inappropriate. Thanks for asking._

_**Evie:** _   
_Not a problem. Enjoy the rest of your day._

* * *

_**Mum:** _   
_So I figured out what to do for your sister's birthday cake just now._

_**Holly:** _   
_Glad one of us managed to accomplish something in the last hour. That's months away by the way._

_**Mum:** _   
_I am aware, but you know how I like to be prepared. I have also booked a clown. Thought it would be amusing. What do you think?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I didn't realise you had learnt a new skill set. You go to school for that too? I am betting you were top of your class. Have you earned your red nose yet?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Anyway, it's just her 25th birthday. Not like it's a huge milestone or anything._

_**Mum:** _   
_Holly Stewart! I never took you to be the jealous type!_

_**Holly:** _   
_I'm not!_

_**Mum:** _   
_Well I have managed to convince quite a few family members to come from out of state, so I thought I would make a bit more of an effort this year. Which reminds me. Wait_

_**Mum:** _   
_Do you think I could book you and your friend Gail a hotel for the few days you're here? My shout? Aunt Gladys and Uncle Pete are coming and he still has that stupid bung leg, so I thought it might be easier for them to stay at the house, and I am not kicking your sister out on her birthday. I'll throw in the spa package?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I can just bunk on the floor in Evie's room._

_**Mum:** _   
_What? I thought Officer Cranky Pants was coming?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I am not sure if she is anymore._

_**Mum:** _   
_I thought you had booked her a ticket?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I did._

_**Mum:** _   
_Did she change her mind?_

_**Holly:** _   
_No._

_**Mum:** _   
_So why isn't she coming then?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I don't know mum? Maybe it's because I am desperately in love with her and I figure I probably shouldn't be in the same vicinity as her anymore?_

_**Mum:** _   
_Shit._

_**Holly:** _   
_Got any other words of wisdom up your sleeve or just endless colourful handkerchiefs?_

_**Mum:** _   
_I had no idea!_

_**Holly:** _   
_Really?_

_**Mum:** _   
_Ok, I did._

_**Holly:** _   
_I am going to kill her._

_**Mum:** _   
_There is no need to kill your sister. She didn't give you up. It was perfectly obvious you liked Gail by the way you spoke about her last weekend, I just didn't realise you were in love with her._

_**Holly:** _   
_Well it's a rather recent development._

_**Mum:** _   
_How recent?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Precisely 47 minutes._

_**Holly:** _   
_And 38 seconds._

_**Mum:** _   
_Quite the realisation for a Saturday afternoon._

_**Holly:** _   
_Ya think?_

_**Mum:** _   
_So what happened 47 minutes ago?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Well we just came back from a night of camping with Mike and Sarah and I dropped her off at work at lunchtime and then 5 mins later she texted me saying she had a good time despite all the lions and crocodiles. She is so funny._

_**Mum:** _   
_You saw Mike? How is he? I should probably invite them to Evie's party._

_**Holly:** _   
_Jesus, Mum! Focus!_

_**Mum:** _   
_Sorry! Before you continue can I ask why we aren't on the phone right now?_

_**Holly:** _   
_This is how I communicate now. Stops me from babbling so much._

_**Mum:** _   
_I like your babbling._

_**Holly:** _   
_Then you are the only one._

_**Mum:** _   
_I am not sure I entirely like this, but continue if you must._

_**Holly:** _   
_Blame Gail._

_**Holly:** _   
_Actually don't._

_**Mum:** _   
_Because you love her desperately?_

_**Holly:** _   
_That's right. Lol._

_**Holly:** _   
_So she texted me after I dropped her off earlier and I was sitting in my car reading back and laughing at our texts from last night. And before you ask, last night we were in separate tents and everyone was sleeping, except she was freaking out over owls hooting, so I was trying to keep her company from afar. Actually more like two metres away._

_**Mum:** _   
_That's cute. She's cute._

_**Holly:** _   
_I know. She is very cute._

_**Holly:** _   
_Whatever, that's beside the point. Stop distracting me._

_**Holly:** _   
_So we were trying to guess each other's middle names and I typed something, that at the time I didn't even know I typed until I read it back 50 mins ago. I am so glad I only noticed this now otherwise I would have been utterly mortified. I don't know what I would have done. Actually I probably would have thrown myself into the river._

_**Mum:** _   
_What did you write?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I took a punt that her middle name was Hermione. Don't laugh, okay?_

_**Mum:** _   
_I am not even sure what I am not supposed to be laughing about._

_**Holly:** _   
_I wrote Gail Hermione Stewart. So obviously I am in love with her._

_**Holly:** _   
_Mum?_

_**Mum:** _   
_I am here. Was just grabbing a coffee._

_**Holly:** _   
_You don't drink coffee._

_**Mum:** _   
_I don't? I don't._

_**Mum:** _   
_Okay, I was laughing, baby! But you are so adorable, you know?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I am so embarrassed._

_**Mum:** _   
_So did she reply to it?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Gail being Gail just cracked a joke and wrote, "yes, I will marry you," and I had no idea what she was on about. I think I called her weird even, but that's not an uncommon occurrence with us._

_**Mum:** _   
_But she didn't alert you to what you had written?_

_**Holly:** _   
_No. She continued on like nothing happened. Instead she actually invited me to her families weekly dinner at her parents house next Friday and then she just gave in and told me her middle name._

_**Mum:** _   
_She didn't want to embarrass you, which is very sweet. She obviously cares about you. You are meeting the parents..._

_**Holly:** _   
_I know she does, but she's straight. I think. Well straight enough._

_**Mum:** _   
_Gay/straight, does it even matter anymore? She's curious?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Yes, but I also think that's just part of her personality._

_**Mum:** _   
_You sure? You can be pretty dense sometimes even with that smart brain of yours._

_**Holly:** _   
_Jesus! You're supposed to be reeling me in, not making it worse! And that is completely untrue. :P_

_**Mum:** _   
_I love you._

_**Holly:** _   
_Yeah yeah._

_**Mum:** _   
_Has she given you any indication that there are feelings there?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I guess there have been hints, probably more so this week, but I am very confused! I think I might be misjudging the whole situation._

_**Mum:** _   
_How so?_

_**Holly:** _   
_She has always had this reputation as being this bitchy ice queen. I met this particular side of her once; actually it was the moment we met. I mean I found it amusing, but I can see why she would easily disarm people and be judged immediately for it._

_**Mum:** _   
_The poor thing, though you always were fond of the snarky ones._

_**Holly:** _   
_There is so much more to her than that though. So much more. She would never admit it, but she wears her heart on her sleeve, more so than anyone I have ever met, but her mother has inflicted a lot of damage over the years and you can tell that it's worn her down to the point where she feels unworthy of love. She was so devoid of warmth and affection in her life that it scared me, because you know how I am, mum. I am a nurturer._

_**Mum:** _   
_Always have been since you were a little girl. You are your father's daughter._

_**Holly:** _   
_So I think I may have surprised her a little with this, but then she gradually started to respond to me in kind. She can be as equally warm and affectionate, but I fear it's just because I am the first person to offer it to her without any hidden agendas, and she has just kind of latched on. Am I being crazy?_

_**Mum:** _   
_I think your fear is completely valid and makes perfect sense._

_**Holly:** _   
_I was hoping you were going to say I was crazy._

_**Mum:** _   
_I know you were and I'm sorry, it's just you argue your point too damn well!_

_**Holly:** _   
_I blame you for that._

_**Mum:** _   
_You said she has hinted at feelings more so the past week? Have you shared any moments?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Our time together is full of moments, mostly funny awkward ones but last night it was different._

_**Holly:** _   
_So she has decided she has sworn off men for the foreseeable future._

_**Mum:** _   
_Isn't that a blatantly obvious hint right there?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Not really. Her mum sets her up on countless blind dates. I think she is just over it._

_**Mum:** _   
_If you say so._

_**Holly:** _   
_So Mike's friend Dick, who was camping with us, was coming on a little strong and he wouldn't take a hint, so Gail basically threatened me to come and pretend to be her girlfriend._

_**Mum:** _   
_So you did?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Yes. She was kinda freaking out. So I walk over to towards where they are sitting down on some logs by the open fire and she holds her hand out to me, so I take it. I was planning on just standing behind her and holding onto her shoulders or playing with her hair or something, but she pulls me down sideways into her lap._

_**Mum:** _   
_Way to sell it._

_**Holly:** _   
_She definitely caught me by surprise. All of a sudden her hands are around my waist and she's pulling me closer, but holding on tentatively, and then she rests her head on my chest above my heart and I swear she closes her eyes briefly to listen to it beating, which is obviously beating embarrassingly fast at that point._

_**Mum:** _   
_That is a moment._

_**Holly:** _   
_So Dick is mumbling something about not believing we are together and I watch Gail gradually get more agitated so I lean down closer to her ear and tell her to chill out, who cares, right? But she is not one to let things go._

_**Mum:** _   
_She didn't kiss you did she?_

_**Mum:** _   
_I am not sure I like that she is playing with your emotions like that to prove a point._

_**Holly:** _   
_It's not like that. The guy was being a dick. Who's telling this story exactly?_

_**Mum:** _   
_You are._

_**Holly:** _   
_Lol. So I'm talking to the guy and I can feel her burning holes in me with her eyes, not uncommon. She stares a lot; she is a very observant person. Then I feel her hand wrap around the back of my neck and into my hair and she pulls me closer and kisses me twice, on the bottom of my jaw. I tried not to react but she lingered there and smelled my neck._

_**Mum:** _   
_She smelt your neck?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Yup._

_**Holly:** _   
_I look down at her and she looks frightened for a moment but then she smirks at me and starts laughing. So I don't know what to think._

_**Mum:** _   
_You need to tell her how you feel._

_**Holly:** _   
_I can't. It would send her running in the opposite direction._

_**Mum:** _   
_Maybe so, but it would have to better than the painful alternative._

_**Holly:** _   
_I think me not having her in my life would be more painful. I don't want to lose her. She is the only close friend I've got._

_**Mum:** _   
_If that's the case, then I think you need a little distance. At least to get your head around your feelings? Being this close to her is not going to help you right now._

_**Holly:** _   
_Maybe._

_**Mum:** _   
_Maybe? So you'll think about it?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Yes. I love you._

_**Mum:** _   
_Yeah yeah._

* * *

_**Evie:** _   
_So you are going to distance yourself, huh?_

_**Holly:** _   
_It took her 5 minutes to blab? You guys suck! You really do._

_**Evie:** _   
_More like 1 minute, I thought I'd wait an extra 4 minutes for some reason. So I have an idea._

_**Holly:** _   
_Never good a thing._

_**Evie:** _   
_You remember Melinda? I used to work with her a few years ago?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Vaguely._

_**Evie:** _   
_She recently moved to Toronto._

_**Holly:** _   
_Good for her._

_**Evie:** _   
_Yeah, so you are meeting her on Tuesday._

_**Holly:** _   
_You're funny._

_**Evie:** _   
_Not joking._

_**Holly:** _   
_You can't be serious?_

_**Evie:** _   
_I am dead serious._

_**Holly:** _   
_Did you not hear?_

_**Evie:** _   
_That you are desperately in love with Gail, your straight friend, that you have no intention on telling your feelings to?_

_**Evie:** _   
_You are going to go and have a few drinks at that cop bar with Melinda._

_**Holly:** _   
_That is evil. You are evil and I don't like you._

_**Evie:** _   
_Like I haven't heard that before._

_**Evie:** _   
_I love you._

_**Holly:** _   
_Yeah yeah._

* * *

**I think I am going to fic the Vancouver trip to Holly's sisters birthday party at some point. Maybe a 2 or 3 shot. What do you think?**


	22. Chapter 22

_**Gail:** _   
_I hate email._

_**Nash:** _   
_Good for you?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Mmm._

_**Nash:** _   
_You at the precinct?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Unfortunately. So I wrote Holly an email._

_**Nash:** _   
_I should have guessed by the way you started this conversation. About anything in particular? Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_Feelings._

_**Gail:** _   
_And yes, I do have feelings if you were wondering!_

_**Nash:** _   
_Gail, I have always been well aware that you are capable of "feelings." Romantic or otherwise._

_**Nash:** _   
_So did she reply?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No, because I would have had to have sent it to her for that to happen now wouldn't I?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Yeah, that's usually how it works._

_**Gail:**_   
_Been sitting at my desk all morning looking like a tool with my finger hovering over the enter key._

_**Nash:** _   
_You are a bit of a wrench. Do you think there is a reason you are not pushing it?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I think there are many reasons why I don't do a lot of things. Sometimes threefold. I always thought of myself as a cold chisel._

_**Nash:** _   
_Lol._

_**Nash:** _   
_Maybe you just want to say this stuff in person?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I think that would be unbearable at this particular point in time. Actually, make that at any point in time._

_**Gail:** _   
_She has been very distant the past day or so. I am not even sure what her problem is or if she even wants to speak to me._

_**Nash:** _   
_Only one way to find out. Don't you want to see her?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Of course I do. Though, what would I say?_

_**Nash:** _   
_How about you say what ever was in your email._

_**Gail:** _   
_Ew! Gross! I am gonna delete it._

_**Nash:** _   
_Don't!_

_**Nash:** _   
_Send it to yourself and take the day and come back to it. Plus, you should really get back to work. You wouldn't want to resent Holly for losing you your job._

_**Gail:** _   
_Don't know how I am supposed to work when I can't stop thinking about her._

_**Nash:** _   
_Dude! I didn't know you were so smitten!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Peck's don't do smitten._

_**Nash:** _   
_Tell that to your brother._

_**Gail:** _   
_I knew it!_

_**Nash:** _   
_You know nothing! Nothing's happened._

_**Gail:** _   
_Anyway, it's not like that. I just miss my friend. It's been two days and I have barely heard a peep._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't like this feeling. I want these feelings to go away._

_**Nash:** _   
_No you don't._

_**Gail:** _   
_No I don't._

* * *

_**Nash:** _   
_Can you go pick up a report for me?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I guess I could be your minion. Got nothing better to do apparently, do I? Where am I going?_

_**Nash:** _   
_The morgue._

_**Gail:** _   
_How convenient._

_**Nash:** _   
_You're welcome!_

_**Gail:** _   
_This is going to look like some lame excuse just for me to talk to her. She is going to be able to read it all over my face._

_**Nash:** _   
_Just use that permanent scowl of yours to your advantage._

_**Gail:** _   
_Doesn't seem to work on her._

_**Nash:** _   
_Just stop thinking and go! I actually really do need that report like yesterday!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Fine! You are so much bossier now that you are a detective. I kinda like it._

_**Nash:** _   
_Stop complimenting me and move!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Geez! What a bitch!_

_**Nash:** _   
_That's Detective Bitch to you. Now go!_

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_I thought I'd give you ample warning so that you can run and hide. I am coming down to you to pick up that report for Nash._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No one is hiding. I am actually on my lunch break. But my assistant is down there._

_**Gail:** _   
_I'll wait. I want to see you._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_That's nice._

_**Gail:** _   
_Is it?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Isn't it?_

_**Gail:** _   
_3 seconds and you are already driving me crazy._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I can't help it._

_**Gail:** _   
_What u eating?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Actually let me guess_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'll give you a reward if you get it correct._

_**Gail:** _   
_You rewarding me with your presence?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'm sorry, I have just been busy with work and stuff._

_**Gail:** _   
_And stuff?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yes._

_**Gail:** _   
_Did I do something wrong?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Of course not! It's not you._

_**Gail:** _   
_It's me._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What? I just said that it wasn't!_

_**Gail:** _   
_I was finishing your sentence for you._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Oh._

_**Gail:** _   
_Sounds like you are breaking up with me anyway._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_How could I possibly break up with you? You keep me sane._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Most of the time._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Shit. You are going to have to pick up that report from my assistant after all. I have been called out to a crime scene._

_**Gail:** _   
_Uh huh, sure._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I'll message you later, ok?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Uh huh, sure._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Green tea, turkey on rye and an apple._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Freak._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_Report is on your desk. Have you been called out to a crime scene in the last 20 minutes?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Yes. Body of a kid was found on the Sun Valley trail. Swarek and I are on our way now._

_**Gail:** _   
_Good, she wasn't lying then._

_**Nash:** _   
_Who? Holly?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, never mind. Horrible about the kid though._

_**Nash:** _   
_So you saw her then?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I did. She was banging her head against the steering wheel of her car._

_**Nash:** _   
_WTF?_

_**Gail:** _   
_My thoughts exactly. She said she was out at lunch. Well I spose she was. She was sitting in her car like the loner that she is, eating her lunch and trying to read her book._

_**Nash:** _   
_So you were stalking her?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Not exactly. I just happened across her when I was messaging her on my way in to the morgue._

_**Nash:** _   
_So I take it you didn't approach her then?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Did you miss the part where I said she was banging her head against the steering wheel as I was in the middle of messaging her?_

_**Nash:** _   
_You are either driving her completely insane or she loves you. Most likely both. You are insane and very loveable after all._

_**Gail:** _   
_I have no idea what to say to that._

_**Nash:** _   
_It's not outside the realm of possibility though, is it?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I have work to do. Better get back to it._

_**Nash:** _   
_You can't ignore this._

_**Gail:** _   
_I can ignore you though._


	23. Chapter 23

**To:** Gail "that is my donut" Peck

**From:** Officer G. Peck - Toronto Police Department (15th Division)

**Subject:** Gail, you are such a pussy for not sending this.

Dear Holly,

I know I told you I would never send an email to you again, and now that I am writing this I am suddenly wishing that was still the case.

At this current point in time you seem to be still avoiding me, for whatever reason I don't know but knowing you it's valid. And while I miss my friend, it may have also been a blessing (or a painful disaster waiting to happen depending on how you react to this email) in disguise because I have had some time to think about some things. Very important things, and the most important thing is you (not that you are an actual "thing," you are not a possession...).

You probably came to the conclusion pretty quickly after our first meeting that I don't make friends very easily (and that I have a very sensitive nose) and even the ones I do have, have only ever experienced a somewhat censored version of myself. It's not like I am knowingly withholding parts of myself from them, it's just the more time I have spent with you it has now become blatantly obvious to me that there is a vast difference between you and them, and that's why I am probably never going to send this email to you because you are too important to me and I don't want to ruin this. Our friendship is too important. But if I do happen to hit send, it's only because you have given me the strength and courage to do so. The courage to want more for myself and it's more than I ever knew I wanted. And that, Holly "M" Stewart, is a feat in itself. So if this all blows up in my face tomorrow at least you have given me that and so much more.

In such a short amount of time you have been able to break through all my defences and knock down those walls that I will probably deny I ever had until the end of time.

When you found me I was so far up that tree. So far up there that I was stuck on that very top branch where there were sticks poking uncomfortably in my ass. I was never looking like coming down. I was safe up in that tree. Too safe in fact. It was like a bag of cheese puffs on a lonely Saturday night only with far less cheese dust and a lot more creepy-ass bugs. I hate bugs, Holly (but I like you).

That day I slowly made my way down to the branch below and I have been slowly but surely climbing down one by one ever since. But now I want to jump. I need to jump so that I can get down to the ground faster where hopefully my friend is patiently waiting for me.

So after saying all that I am now going to say this (if it weren't obvious already):

I have the hugest crush on you, my friend. An epic crush and it doesn't look to be going away anytime soon.

This cat has found it's most comfortable resting place. But be careful, I may just hump your leg.

Meow,  
Gail, the girl who got fired for spending all morning writing this at work aka Please don't hate me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **If you need some clarification, yes, Gail did in fact send this to herself and not to Holly. Poor Gail.**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Holly:** _   
_I know we joke about me having all the brains in the family but some days I wonder if I have any at all._

_**Evie:** _   
_Technically you only have one brain._

_**Holly:** _   
_Even with no brain I would still be smarter than you!_

_**Evie:** _   
_Pretty sure you'd be dead._

_**Holly:** _   
_Thanks again, Captain Obvious._

_**Evie:** _   
_Lol. So... no brain today? This must be serious. What have you done?_

_**Holly:** _   
_It's what I haven't done that is the problem._

_**Evie:** _   
_And that is?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I haven't been a very good friend._

_**Evie:** _   
_It's a difficult skill to master when you don't spend your time around actual living people._

_**Holly:** _   
_So I can blame my job then?_

_**Evie:** _   
_Hol, don't beat yourself up about this. You're struggling, it's not a crime. It's not like you have been completely ignoring her._

_**Holly:** _   
_I know, and I know it's only been a few days but she can tell that something is off and she doesn't deal well with uncertainty. I don't want to hurt her feelings._

_**Holly:** _   
_More than I have already at least._

_**Evie:** _   
_How do you know that you have hurt her feelings?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I can sense these things._

_**Evie:** _   
_Oh right, I forgot who I was talking to for a second, Jedi Master No Brain._

_**Holly:** _   
_So I have made a decision._

_**Evie:** _   
_Yay! I am telling you from personal experience that this will be so much better than letting your feelings fester. I was getting kinda worried about you, I have never seen you like this before. So when and how are you going to tell her you have more than "like" feelings for her? Or "like, like" feelings for that matter._

_**Holly:** _   
_Oh, I'm not. Lol._

_**Evie:** _   
_WTF?_

_**Holly:** _   
_My plan is to get over myself and over her and pretend like nothing is going on. Lol._

_**Evie:** _   
_Jesus, Hol! How the fuck are you gonna do that?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I figured a brain transplant would do the trick._

_**Evie:** _   
_I thought you didn't have a brain?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Heart transplant then._

_**Evie:** _   
_While you're at it you should probably get your retinas and your cochlea's removed._

_**Holly:** _   
_OMG! I forgot about those! Thanks for reminding me._

_**Evie:** _   
_Yes, you'd probably fall instantly back in love with her otherwise._

_**Holly:** _   
_Wouldn't you if you saw this?_   
_[5 images attached]_

_**Evie:** _   
_Sorry, I blacked out there for a moment but not before going temporarily BLIND! She can't be real!_

_**Holly:** _   
_Painfully real._

_**Evie:** _   
_I don't believe you. You must have grown her in your lab._

_**Holly:** _   
_If you ask her, she grew me in a lab._

_**Evie:** _   
_What?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Never mind._

_**Holly:** _   
_If I had made her in my lab then I would have at least made her grow to love me._

_**Evie:** _   
_That's really sad, Hol._

_**Evie:** _   
_What the hell is with that last photo?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Sarah took it the other night when we were camping._

_**Evie:** _   
_You are sitting in her lap._

_**Holly:** _   
_Those are some pretty keen observation skills you have there. Have you thought about analysing photographs for a living?_

_**Evie:** _   
_You are in her lap and you both look to be hysterically laughing. She has her arms around your waist!_

_**Holly:** _   
_Change careers now! Do it!_

_**Evie:** _   
_I don't know why you are fighting this. It's there. She is there with you. Why can't you see it?_

_**Evie:** _   
_Maybe you don't want to see it._

_**Evie:** _   
_You are getting too comfortable in your denial. This is so unlike you._

_**Evie:** _   
_Hol? You should send her this photo._

_**Holly:** _   
_Look, I know all these things but I just need some more time to get my head around these feelings. I'm scared, okay? If there is something going on between us I am not going to push, but I have decided I cant push her away either._

_**Holly:** _   
_Can you call Melinda for me and tell her I cant make it tomorrow night?_

_**Evie:** _   
_Are you sure?_

_**Evie:** _   
_Look, I know it's a bit childish but a bit of jealously never hurt anyone. That's even if Gail will get jealous, but I am hoping for your sake she does. Anyway, I think meeting someone new could be good for you. It'd be like killing two birds with one stone._

_**Holly:** _   
_Lol. Do you not like your friend or something?_

_**Evie:** _   
_We were never really that close but she's really nice and funny. You'll have a good laugh at least. You need to blow off some steam._

_**Holly:** _   
_Fine. But if I am going to do this, I am not going to be rude to Melinda and ignore her all night just so I can see if Gail gets jealous._

_**Evie:** _   
_What evs._

_**Holly:** _   
_I will be blaming you when this all goes tits up._

_**Evie:** _   
_I'd expect nothing less._

_**Holly:** _   
_Thanks for listening to your crazy big sister._

_**Evie:** _   
_I'll send you your invoice tomorrow._

_**Holly:** _   
_I love you._

_**Evie:** _   
_Yeah yeah._

* * *

_**Holly:** _   
_[1 image attached]_

_**Officer Cranky Pants:** _   
_I look happy here._

_**Officer Cranky Pants:** _   
_We both do._

_**Holly:** _   
_I feel as though you say that like it's some alien concept._

_**Officer Cranky Pants:** _   
_Not lately it isn't._

_**Holly:** _   
_You always deserve to be happy._

_**Officer Cranky Pants:** _   
_So do you, Lunchbox._


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a [tumblr link](http://weedyart.tumblr.com/post/85370840445/part-25-gail-holly-texting-saga-continues) to an illustration that goes with this chapter. You will have to scroll down the post to where the image is inserted within the text message.

_**Lunchbox:** _

_Hey officer, whatcha been doin this morning?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Up until a few minutes ago I was playing with Dov._

_**Gail:** _   
_U can stop laughing u weirdo._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I was doing no such thing!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_So what were you "playing" with Dov?_

_**Gail:** _   
_He installed a painting app on my iPad yesterday so we were "blind" drawing._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Are you any good?_

_**Gail:** _   
_At blind drawing? Probably as good as u are when your eyes are open._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Hey! Give me longer that 30 seconds and I'm sure I could draw something better!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Prove it._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I fucking will and it will blow your delusional mind._

_**Gail:** _   
_Don't try too hard, okay? I can see u spending 24 hours on this and that can't be healthy._

_**Gail:** _   
_Speaking of and seeing as I now have the best meerkat fridge magnet on the planet, I thought it only fair u got something in return._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Lunch? I'm starving._

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol. I will think about it, but no. I painted something for u for your office on my iPad last night._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Is this the kind of painting that will have to be shoved into a drawer every time someone enters my office?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Trust u to think I would draw erotica._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I seriously wouldn't put it past you lol_

_**Gail:** _   
_You're right, because the margins of my paper work read like 50 Shades of Grey._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_When will you be sending this masterpiece? I am so bored sitting here waiting for some test results. My brain needs some stimuli._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't want u to get fired for trying to grope the next person who walks into your office. My stuff is pretty hot._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I think I can handle it. Besides my assistant won't mind I'm sure. He checks out my ass all the time._

_**Gail:** _   
_Don't say I didn't warn u._   
_[1 image attached]_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_OMG, Gail!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Pretty perverted, hey? Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_Hello?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Did I make u fall out of your chair from all the sexiness?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Must have. Lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sorry! I had to print it out! I love it!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I am one sexy lab coat-wearing meerkat._

_**Gail:** _   
_U are._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I didn't know you could draw._

_**Gail:** _   
_Just something I did to pass time in junior high. Though my mother thought I should have been concentrating on more important things like PE than spending all my time in the art room._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Was she getting you fit to become a cop?_

_**Gail:** _   
_At that point I think she was just trying to get me fit, period. I was kinda the fat kid._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Really? Must have been puberty because I have never seen someone with metabolism like yours._

_**Gail:** _   
_Except for u._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Actually, as much as I would like to sit and eat ice cream all day, I have to work hard for this body._

_**Gail:** _   
_I wish I had your arms._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Aww, but I like your noodly arms._

_**Gail:** _   
_I can barely hold up my gun lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ha!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You know this painting of yours reminds me of the day we first met._

_**Gail:** _   
_It's what I was going for (minus your ugly green puffy jacket thing)_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You'll be happy to know I can't find that jacket by the way._

_**Gail:** _   
_Oh really? I wonder what happened to it..._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You stole it? Of course you did._

_**Gail:** _   
_This is why we get along so well. You answer your own questions._

_**Gail:** _   
_That expression on your meerkat face is pretty much how I remember you. All smirk and eyebrows u were._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I was totally flabbergasted by your awesome ability to deadpan._

_**Gail:** _   
_I have had a lot of practice. It's how I deal with my mother. Well that and my awesome ability at walking backwards._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ha. I have to meet this mother of yours. Though to be honest I am a little uncoordinated. Not sure I could walk backwards with out falling on my ass. It wouldnt be graceful either._

_**Gail:** _   
_Don't worry, I will have dragged your ass backwards out of there before there was any chance of that happening._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_But your noodly arms?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I could drag Jabba The Hutt outta there if meant escaping from my mother._

_**Gail:** _   
_What were u thinking about?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Not sure I understand..._

_**Gail:** _   
_When u first met me. In that moment. Honestly._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Honestly?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Don't worry, I can take it._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Yeah, the wrong way maybe._

_**Gail:** _   
_Huh?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok. Honestly, my first thought was this beautiful woman has the most soul-destroying eyes and I was kinda jealous of person who got look into them every day._

_**Gail:** _   
_U were attracted to me?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_If you hadn't noticed you were very pretty._

_**Gail:** _   
_Were? Lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I meant are! Always are. Lol_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_But the more you opened your mouth (to pick on me), scratched your ass and picked your nose on the way back to the morgue, I very quickly got over it._

_**Gail:** _   
_Certainly sounds like something I would do._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I enjoyed the awkward company though._

_**Gail:** _   
_You wanna know what I thought of u?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Nope!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Why the hell not?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I already know what you thought of me because you couldn't stop yourself from telling me every time you decided to open your mouth._

_**Gail:** _   
_Hey now..._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Shhh... I'm thinking._

_**Gail:** _   
_I told u I was a cat._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_That you did._

_**Gail:** _   
_So that should tell u something._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It does._

_**Gail:** _   
_Did u wanna come over tonight? Dov and I are gonna watch some movies. Something about transformers?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sorry, I have plans tonight. Maybe another night?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Sure. So u want some lunch then?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Why exactly is it always you that is bringing me food?_

_**Gail:** _   
_The alternative would be u bringing me salad and I can't be havin none of dat shit. Besides I have been trying to fatten u up for the past month._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_What on earth for?_

_**Gail:** _   
_You're too muscly. Your hugs are hurting me. I'll see you around noon._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok. I'll make sure not to hug you then._

_**Gail:** _   
_At least not until after the fried chicken._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a [tumblr link](http://weedyart.tumblr.com/post/85370840445/part-25-gail-holly-texting-saga-continues) to an illustration that goes with this chapter. You will have to scroll down the post to where the image is inserted within the text message.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Gail:** _   
_So when Dov said to me earlier “let’s go get a drink and play some trivia,” I am thinking I should have said no, right?_

_**Nash:** _   
_You are so stupid! Were you having a senior moment or something?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I really really wanted a drink! I needed to get outta there. I had been playing with Dov all day, except for when I had lunch with Holly at the lab._

_**Nash:** _   
_Lol. I bet he enjoyed that._

_**Gail:** _   
_:P_

_**Nash:** _   
_While you were enjoying your day off “playing with Dov,” I was stuck doing paper work. I still have a report Dr. Stewart couriered over earlier to go through before I can leave._

_**Gail:** _   
_Her name is Holly._

_**Nash:** _   
_Someone has to uphold some level of professionalism around here. I swear to god I heard you call her Lunchbox on a scene the other week. What is that, a pet name?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Slip of the tongue. Turn to page 6 of her report._

_**Nash:** _   
_Why? Is it something important?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Very._

_**Nash:** _   
_How do you know this?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Just do it._

_**Nash:** _   
_You guys are made for each other. Seriously. Marriage and babies._

_**Nash:** _   
_What is that exactly, in the margins? A leg?_   
  
_**Gail:** _   
_Use your imagination, but u will have to try really hard because Holly drew that._

_**Nash:** _   
_She’s terrible._

_**Gail:** _   
_I tried helping her but she is a very determined and self-reliant woman._

_**Nash:** _   
_She also has terrible handwriting. “Gail made me do it.” Ha._

_**Gail:** _   
_There is a loose page 6 at the back of that envelope that you can replace it with._

_**Nash:** _   
_Gee, thanks! I will put this page in my drawer with all the other pages you have ruined._

_**Gail:** _   
_U are very welcome. And so u should! They will all be worth something one day._

_———-_

_**Holly:** _   
_Just got out of the taxi but now I can’t bring myself to go inside. Should I really be doing this?_

_**Evie:** _   
_A few drinks won’t kill you. Gail mightn’t even be in there. Don’t stress either way. There is no pressure here._

_**Holly:** _   
_Gail won’t be, thankfully. Her plans are to watch movies tonight._

_**Holly:** _   
_Maybe I should have accepted her invite instead._

_**Evie:** _   
_Yeah cos sitting together alone, in the dark, under a blanket, getting all cozy up in each others business is going to be so much more comfortable?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Close enough to smell her hair._

_**Evie:** _   
_Exactly._

_**Holly:** _   
_No that wasn’t a reason not to, I was just thinking out loud via text. Lol._

_**Evie:** _   
_You poor perverted thing._

_**Holly:** _   
_Anyway her roommate is home too._

_**Evie:** _   
_That just makes the hiding more fun._

_**Holly:** _   
_What the hell do you get up to when you watch movies?_

_**Evie:** _   
_Nuffin. :D_

_**Evie:** _   
_Why did you get a taxi?_

_**Holly:** _   
_So I could drink? A lot._

_**Evie:** _   
_Melinda is great. Give her a chance at least? No need to turn into drunken uncle Pete._

_**Holly:** _   
_Fine. Going inside._

_——-_

_**Nash:** _   
_Have a drink for me? A big one?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I am having 10._

_**Nash:** _   
_Steady girl. No need to spend all your pocket money at once._

_**Gail:** _   
_If u were me right now and u were seeing what I was seeing, you’d understand._

_**Nash:** _   
_Oh Chloe is there with Dov, huh? Yes, they are particularly gross when they are together like that._

_**Gail:** _   
_That I can take. Actually I would gladly watch them forever if it meant not seeing what I am currently seeing._

_**Nash:** _   
_What are you talking about?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I am talking about Holly and her smokin’ hot date sitting over by the exit._

_**Nash:** _   
_And why did you not lead with this?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I was trying to build some tension. Adds to the story. That and I didn’t want to put it into words._

_**Nash:** _   
_How do you know she is on a date?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Because I embarrassingly offered to buy her a drink when she walked in here and I was immediately shot down when she told me she was meeting someone. Burn!!!_

_**Nash:** _   
_So? She could be a friend._

_**Gail:** _   
_Nope. She confirmed it was someone, someone. She seemed quite happy about it too. Spew! And I ended up paying for her drink!!! WTF?_

_**Nash:** _   
_Are you okay?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Other than the fact I may snap at any second? Gravy, thanks for asking._

_**Nash:** _   
_Don’t drink too much, okay? You’re working tomorrow._

_**Gail:** _   
_Meh._

_**Nash:** _   
_And stop torturing yourself by looking at her._

_**Gail:** _   
_I can’t not. She’s laughing too hard. Is this bitch supposed to be funny or something?_

_———-_

_**Holly:** _   
_Gail is here. I am such a dick!_

_**Evie:** _   
_Shouldn’t you be concentrating on your date rather than texting me?_

_**Holly:** _   
_She is in the restroom._

_**Evie:** _   
_Why are you a dick?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Gail came up to me at the bar when I walked in looking all cute and sexy and I proceeded to tell her I was with someone._

_**Evie:** _   
_So?_

_**Holly:** _   
_So I may have hinted at the fact it could lead somewhere._

_**Evie:** _   
_Nice!_

_**Holly:** _   
_It is not nice! It’s horrible! I panicked._

_**Evie:** _   
_So is it working? Does she look jealous?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I don’t know. I am trying my very hardest not to look her way._

_**Evie:** _   
_Just look will you, for me? Please?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I really can’t tell. She always looks miserable from afar._

_**Evie:** _   
_She sounds like a peach._

_**Holly:** _   
_Shut up! She’s awesome!_

_———-_

_**Gail:** _   
_That chick just touched Holly’s hair! WTF? Who does that?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Ugh. Gonna go spend some time in the restroom._

_**Nash:** _   
_You do that._

_———-_

_**Gail:** _   
_She touched my hand._

_**Nash:** _   
_Who?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Don’t make me hit u._

_**Nash:** _   
_With those noodly arms?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I can slap a bitch!!!!!!!_

_**Nash:** _   
_Okay, okay!! So she touched you? Sparks fly?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I held open the door for her and she put her hand over mine to catch it as we silently passed each other._

_**Nash:** _   
_Saucy._

_**Gail:** _   
_I need to get out of here._

_**Nash:** _   
_I’m leaving now. I will pick you up in 15 and I will take you home._

_**Gail:** _   
_U will?_

_**Nash:** _   
_I will. We are gonna talk this out and figure out your next move, or you can pass out. Which ever happens first._

_**Gail:** _   
_She is not interested._

_**Nash:** _   
_Tell that to your recently touched hand._

_**Gail:** _   
_Hmm. I’m drunk._

_**Nash:** _   
_I figured._

_———-_

_**Holly:** _   
_Gail’s friend Traci just dragged her out of the bar. Gail seemed quite drunk and Traci looked at me weirdly._

_**Evie:** _   
_Define weirdly._

_**Holly:** _   
_She half smiled at me but it was laced with concern. Could have sworn she shrugged her shoulders at me too. That means something, right?_

_**Evie:** _   
_What are you gonna do?_

_**Holly:** _   
_I’m going to leave._

_**Evie:** _   
_That’s it?_

_**Holly:** _   
_No. I’m going to tell her._

_**Evie:** _   
_Yay!!!_

_**Holly:** _   
_Tomorrow._

_**Evie:** _   
_Boo!!!_

_———-_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Hey, just checking in. You looked a bit under the weather when you left the bar. Are you okay?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Hey, she’s fine. I just put her to bed. Cheers, Traci._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Thanks for letting me know._

_**Gail:** _   
_Nice drawings by the way._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_She makes me do things._

_**Gail:** _   
_Funny, she says the exact same thing about you._


	27. Chapter 27

_**Holly:** _   
_She kissed me!_

_**Evie:** _   
_What? Where?_

_**Holly:** _   
_On the lips._

_**Evie:** _   
_Lol. You really do need a brain transplant._

_**Holly:** _   
_Did you just write something? I couldn't tell because I was too busy reliving the memory of 30 minutes ago when Gail kissed me. Like, right, smack, bang on the lips!_

_**Evie:** _   
_Which lip? Lol_

_**Holly:** _   
_Mostly the top one. Lol._

_**Evie:** _   
_I always knew you were a bottom. You are soooo fucking lazy sis._

_**Holly:** _   
_And I am soooooo done talking with you!_

* * *

_**Mum:** _   
_Hey baby, what's new with you?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Nice one!_

_**Mum:** _   
_What? Can't your poor old mother ask what's going on in her favourite daughters life?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Your favourite daughter just paid her water bill._

_**Mum:** _   
_I'm surprised you found the time to do that given all the kissing you've been doing._

_**Holly:** _   
_You know what?_

_**Mum:** _   
_What, you love me?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Nope! Goodbye!_

* * *

_**Nash:** _   
_Hey, I saw Dr. Stewart hovering nervously in the precinct earlier. I haven't seen her down here before. Is everything ok?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Fine. The courier was sick or something._

_**Nash:** _   
_That's weird. You'd think there would be more than one courier available to her._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yeah, you'd think that wouldn't you? LOL._

_**Nash:** _   
_What am I missing here?_

_**Gail:** _   
_I may have kissed her._

_**Nash:** _   
_Waaaaaaaaa? Where?_

_**Gail:** _   
_On the lips? Twice actually._

_**Nash:** _   
_Lol. I mean "where" as in around here, in the station?_

_**Gail:** _   
_No, out back in the dumpster... lol wtf?_

_**Nash:** _   
_You are such a romantic._

_**Nash:** _   
_But OMG!_

_**Gail:** _   
_I think I uttered those exact same words._

_**Nash:** _   
_So YOU kissed her? How did this happen?!_

_**Gail:** _   
_She was fast. Her words mostly nonsensical. I tried to listen but I found myself staring intensely as the resplendent light shone through the Perspex window as if it's sole reason was to perfectly highlight her beautiful features. The same features that I had come to know and love in such a short amount of time._

_In that moment she was utterly mesmerising and there was nothing more I could do but to give in to that wanting need that had been slowly enveloping me, before devouring me whole. In an urgent move I took a firm hold of her face, letting my trembling fingers get tangled in her hair as I pulled her full, quivering lips forcefully into mine…_

_**Nash:** _   
_WHAT THE FARK?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol._

_**Nash:** _   
_Er... Way to paint a picture! And give a girl a heart attack! Did that really happen?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yep. Pretty much._

_**Nash:** _   
_So what the? How the? Huh?_

_**Gail:** _   
_She rocked up to the station with some lame excuse about having to drop off a report when really she was there because she heard the rumour about that fucking asshole shooting at us._

_**Nash:** _   
_So sweet. She was worried about you._

_**Gail:** _   
_Apparently so. She pulled me into an interrogation room._

_**Nash:** _   
_Hot!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Ignoring you... and then she proceeded to pull information out of me. She interrogated me with her eyes and I caved within half a second._

_**Gail:** _   
_I am a little worried that she might not be "all there" if you know what I mean? She couldn't really grasp the concept of what a police officer does. It was very adorable though._

_**Nash:** _   
_Your family are cops, so are your friends, as were your boyfriends. It will take a little bit more time for her to get used your job regardless of whether you are together or just friends. No matter what, nothing will stop her from worrying about you. Unfortunately there is no way around it. Plus, it's not every day you get shot at!_

_**Gail:** _   
_Thank the cheese puff gods! That was not fun!_

_**Nash:** _   
_So what made you decide to kiss her? Other than the fact that you secretly love her. I know you set the scene for me but I need more._

_**Gail:** _   
_Everything really. Her being there, lying, caring. But mostly it was the rambling._

_**Nash:** _   
_You totally shut her up didn't you? Such a typical Peck move._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yup and she understood. She's smart like that._

_**Nash:** _   
_You coming back to the precinct soon?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Ollie and I are on our way back now._

_**Nash:** _   
_I am really happy you had the courage to do that._

_**Gail:** _   
_Best decision I ever made._

* * *

_**Mum:** _   
_Baby, have you had enough time to process yet?_

_**Evie:** _   
_Yeah, can you clue us in now?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Will you both promise to stop taking the piss?_

_**Mum:** _   
_I promise._

_**Evie:** _   
_Surrrrrrrrrre..._

_**Evie:** _   
_So we know SHE kissed you... How? Why? Where? Etc._

_**Holly:** _   
_I had heard a rumour that there was some freak going around shooting at some of the cops from her division and before I knew it I had hightailed it down to her precinct (with a very pathetic excuse as to why I was there) and proceeded to loiter in the corridor for the next 30 minutes waiting to catch sight of her. She saw right through me though._

_**Mum:** _   
_Is everyone okay?_

_**Holly:** _   
_One of her colleagues got shot and is in the hospital. She also tried to conceal the fact that she was shot at too. Apparently we are both bad liars today._

_**Mum:** _   
_Oh god, Holly! This relationship/friendship is going to have you in a constant state of panic and worry!_

_**Holly:** _   
_Please, mum! I am trying not to focus on that right now. Or ever!_

_**Evie:** _   
_Moving on. We have the rest of Gail's life to worry about that but for now get to the kissing!_

_**Holly:** _   
_You are such a little shit._

_**Mum:** _   
_Girls!_

_**Holly:** _   
_I can't really remember much of what I was saying to her or if it made any sense, but I think somewhere during my incoherent ramblings I clued her in to the fact that we were possibly more than just friends and then all of a sudden she attacked my face quite forcefully._

_**Evie:** _   
_What? In the middle of the precinct?_

_**Holly:** _   
_No, I had dragged her into an interrogation room before then._

_**Evie:** _   
_You sly dog! Nice!_

_**Mum:** _   
_Evie, stop teasing your sister._

_**Evie:** _   
_What the f? I'm not!_

_**Mum:** _   
_So I am guessing she didn't panic then? Otherwise we probably would be hearing a much different and incoherent story right now._

_**Holly:** _   
_For a millisecond I thought she might freak out but I think she had some sort light bulb moment shortly after. She apologised and told me that I just had to stop talking and then she kissed me again. Or we kissed each other. Hmm. Goosebumps._

_**Mum:** _   
_I love her already._

_**Evie:** _   
_I think I love her._

_**Evie:** _   
_Jinx!_

_**Evie:** _   
_If only she were around all the time to make you stop talking._

_**Holly:** _   
_That is the only sensible thing you have said all day. I would definitely not be opposed to that._

_**Evie:** _   
_So was that it?_

_**Holly:** _   
_Well I didn't throw her down on the table right there and then and have my way with her if that's what you are asking. Sorry, mum. :P  
_

_**Evie:** _   
_I would never!_

_**Holly:** _   
_We didn't say anything. She squeezed my hands, kissed me on the cheek and then left the room. So who knows what's next._

_**Evie:** _   
_Bow chicka bow wow!_

_**Holly:** _   
_Mum, Evie was adopted, right?_

_**Mum:** _   
_No comment. Though I will say I love you both._

_**Evie:** _   
_Yeah_

_**Holly:** _   
_Yeah._

* * *

_**Mum:** _   
_I really hope we get to see Gail at Evie's birthday party in a few months._

_**Holly:** _   
_Please don't get your hopes up, ok? She seems to like climbing trees and has a habit of not coming back down._

_**Evie:** _   
_Tell her we have a treehouse then, and that you guys could sleep in it instead of going to a hotel._

_**Holly:** _   
_Shit. I have to go I am being summonsed._

_**Evie:** _   
_Mum, I kinda want to give Gail a hug right now._

_**Mum:** _   
_Me too._

_**Holly:** _   
_Me three._

* * *

_**Holly:** _   
_Oh god. You know the compulsive need I have to make sure people are okay at all times?_

_**Mum:** _   
_Yes..._

_**Holly:** _   
_It totally just backfired._

_**Mum:** _   
_Shit! Hang in there, baby. I love you._

_**Holly:** _   
_Yeah yeah._

* * *

_**Gail:** _   
_I fucked up._

_**Nash:** _   
_Already?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol._


	28. Chapter 28

_**Gail:** _   
_Hey_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Hi_

_**Gail:** _   
_I need to tell you something._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You take it back._

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes, but I would like to explain._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_It's ok, you don't have to. It was in the heat of the moment. I get it._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I didn't have to do that. That was really poor form._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Tensions were high, personally and professionally and me being a rambling mess probably didn't help the situation._

_**Gail:** _   
_Wait, what?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_We can forget it ever happened. It's ok. Your friendship means too much to me,_

_**Gail:** _   
_WHAT? No no no no no no._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No?_

_**Gail:** _   
_NO! Fuck! I was talking about blowing you off in the station earlier._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You were?_

_**Gail:** _   
_Yes! OMG!_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Jesus Christ! I think I just threw an embolus._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well that doesn't sound good. Are you ok?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Just mild tachycardia now, but I will be fine. I think._

_**Gail:** _   
_Lol. Should I start again without the misleading conversational starter?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Please do._

_**Gail:** _   
_Look, I'm sorry._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No, I'm sorry._

_**Gail:** _   
_Well I said it first, so I win._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_But I thought it first, so I win._

_**Gail:** _   
_That maybe so, I do have considerable brain lag but it still doesn't make me any less sorry._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_You have nothing to be sorry about._

_**Gail:** _   
_I don't care. Still sorry._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Sorry, but I don't accept your apology._

_**Gail:** _   
_You are apologising for not accepting my apology?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_That's right. Sorry if that annoys you._

_**Gail:** _   
_You have no idea lol_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I think I do actually. Lol._

_**Gail:** _   
_I would like to explain though._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_No explanation needed._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I want to._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_And I want to kiss you again right now but we can't always get what we want._

_**Gail:** _   
_But I almost always get what I want._

_**Gail:** _   
_And for you to be able to kiss me "again" would mean you would have had to have kissed me first and if I recall correctly it didn't really happen that way, did it? So I win._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Didn't realise that this was a competition._

_**Gail:** _   
_It's one you aren't winning._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Apparently, though I don't understand why._

_**Gail:** _   
_I didn't mean to brush you off earlier. Actually that is a lie, I did, but I didn't want to. I really didn't. You are the last person I ever want to just, brush off, but being me that sometimes means doing the exact opposite of what I am actually feeling._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Seriously Gail, forget about it. I'm the one who had to come in and make the situation awkward._

_**Gail:** _   
_Please stop, Holly. I'm not finished and want to get this out before all the craziness starts._

_**Gail:** _   
_And by that I mean craziness here, not the crazy ramblings I'm sure you would like to continue on with right now._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_I should be offended but you are spot on. Please continue._

_**Gail:** _   
_I wasn't expecting to see you at the station, let alone twice. I was just surprised but not at all unhappy, ok?_

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok._

_**Gail:** _   
_I will never not be happy to see you regardless of whatever is going on with us._

_**Gail:** _   
_I know it looked like I panicked and yes, I was a bit uncomfortable with Chris and Steve hovering over me but with everything going on at the moment with crazy gun man, Chloe and Oliver and the fact that I am about to go run into I have no fucking idea what, I just needed a clear head and you had been plaguing my thoughts since last night and if I am being honest here, you touching me would have made things a lot worse. So I am sorry I was so cold about it._

_**Gail:** _   
_And now I have to go, so you will have to tell me how sorry you are later, preferably in person so I can use our special way of shutting each other up. Talk soon I hope._

_**Lunchbox:** _   
_Ok, I heard you. Be safe, Officer._

_**Gail:** _   
_Always, nerd._

_**Gail:** _   
_In case you are feeling unsure about me, please read the ridiculous and incredibly embarrassing email I just forwarded you that I wrote days ago._

_**Gail:** _   
_I hate email, but I like you._


	29. Chapter 29

**To** : Gail "that is my donut" Peck  
 **From** : Holly Stewart

**Subject** : Re: Fwd: Gail, you are such a pussy for not sending this.

**_WARNING_ ** _: **Possible over share of feelings about to happen.**_ **_Proceed at your own risk_ ** **_. We tell each other stuff, right? I think I said that once... Errr..._ **

Dear Pussy (cat),

You have NO IDEA how glad I am that you decided to share this email with me. It doesn't matter that you didn't press send days ago because it is just further proof that this friendship of ours is special and that it has come to mean a great deal to both of us. Way more than I could have ever imagined.

You and your sensitive nose don't give yourself enough credit though. You have always been courageous, with both your heart and your work that I know for sure. I am very proud of you, Gail.

So it seems we may have both been stifled by indecision of late... on whether or not to preserve and protect our friendship above all else or give in to feelings that you probably weren't expecting and that I didn't even know I was looking for.

I have been in a particularly draining tug of war with my usual sensible brain and my somewhat bruised heart over the past few days (weeks if I am being perfectly honest) and unfortunately I found myself trying to put some distance between us. While you had the courage to try and deal with your feelings (and even write emails that you apparently hate doing!) I freaked out, plain and simple.

I started to second-guess myself, something I normally would never do (but let's face it, nothing to do with you is ever normal). I got so caught up in being scared of what I was feeling for my "friend" and all the implications that came with that (I was so convinced that I was going to ruin this, us) that for some reason I didn't want to, or couldn't see what was right in front me. You "like" me. Like, "like, like" me! Maybe you hadn't realised it at the time and now looking back I can't believe I was so oblivious to the signs. You did smell my neck after all. Though I guess if I think about it, it probably smelled like the bacon I had been cooking... Whatever! You smelt my neck! Luckily I was already sitting on your lap because my knees probably would have given out. The funny thing is that still wouldn't have been the most embarrassing thing to come out of that weekend...

So, I acted very poorly and I cant express how disappointed I am with myself and in the fact that I basically ignored you without giving you an explanation as to why. I am so sorry I acted this way and if in doing so made you feel like you did something wrong. It definitely wasn't valid.

I don't know why I ever thought that being away from you was going to work, it actually made it so much worse and once I realised I was being incredibly stupid I made myself available again but at the same time I also I allowed myself to be talked into going on that date as a distraction (we can collectively blame my sister Evie for it being at The Penny... Ok and maybe me) but after seeing you leave drunk with Traci I knew I had to do something. The look she gave me said it all. I am such a dick.

Not that this means anything now but I had a whole speech planned out for you today, a more coherent one, but that immediately went flying out the window when I heard the rumours that you and your colleagues were being targeted this morning, so instead what you got was that other version of me, the babbling mess who comes out in high stress situations. To be honest I am surprised you took anything away from of it, but I was even more surprised when you kissed me and I am so thankful that you did. You left me in such a state I could barely remember my own name let alone what I had just said. I am still not sure.

As for rocking up to the station again this afternoon... Well... You see... I'm like a dog. I am very good at breaking free from my leash... And when I dig up that one delicious bone I don't want to part ways with it. I want to smother it, chew on it, bark endlessly at it, take care of it and protect it from all the other big bad dogs. Possibly even hump it too...

So...If you are ready, you can jump now. I will be waiting.

I will see you soon because there are many hugs to be had,  
Holly Milo Stewart, the girl who has worked precisely 45 minutes so far out of a 9 hour shift with only 2 hours to go. Also fired.

P.S. The only person I hate right now is currently trying to hurt you and your friends. Hopefully by the time you read this all will have been resolved safely.

P.P.S.  
I know you say you hate email but really I think you secretly love it! Kind of like the way you secretly loved that vegetable paella I made you last week. Despite all the protesting you still managed to shovel down three bowls while pulling that adorable pouty face. I am hoping this means in future I won't have to wrap all your vegetables in bacon, dip them in donut batter and deep fry them before you will attempt to eat them? Actually, how good does that sound?

* * *

**To** : Holly Stewart  
 **From** : Gail "that is my donut" Peck

**Subject** : Fwd: Gail, you are such a pussy for not sending this.

Dear Holly,

I don't know why I am sending this to you now, seeing as I have already attacked your face and all (nice face by the way! Well done mum and dad!) But I have discovered over these past 9 weeks that you can make me do things that I normally wouldn't do, so here you go...

* * *

**To** : Gail "that is my donut" Peck  
 **From** : Officer G. Peck - Toronto Police Department (15th Division)

**Subject** : Gail, you are such a pussy for not sending this.

Dear Holly,  
I know I told you I would never send an email to you again, and now that I am writing this I am suddenly wishing that was still the case.

_This message has been truncated._


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter
> 
> Pleases find Tumblr link to chapter illustration [here.](http://weedyart.tumblr.com/post/86160238595/part-30-gail-holly-texting-saga-ends) Scroll down where to pic would be inserted within messages.  
>  A few chapters back Holly had said she could draw better if she had more time. This is what she sends Gail. Check back if my profile update is lagging as it usually does.

_**Gail:** _  
_You still here?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Yup. Not going anywhere._

_**Gail:** _  
_Okie doke._

* * *

_**Gail:**_  
 _How bout now?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I promise, Gail, I am still here._

_**Gail:** _  
_K._

* * *

_**Gail:** _  
_And now? Lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_U tool. I'm fine. I'm reading._

_**Gail:** _  
_What are you reading?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Found some material on Myocardial infarction. Though I already know everything there is to know._

_**Gail:** _  
_Of course you do. So is it any good?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Pretty sure this pamphlet has just informed me that I suffered one earlier today. I had all the symptoms._

_**Gail:** _  
_Shit! I do tend to have that effect on people._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I'd like fair warning next time._

_**Gail:** _  
_But sneak attacks are my thing!_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Are they really?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Only when nerds called Holly are talking too much._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_If you are wondering, I am still here glued to my seat. Was a little worried, you hadn't asked me of my whereabouts in the last 5 minutes._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Chris is staring btw. Does he know something?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Err yeah, bright-spark!_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Hey! I have had 3 minor heart attacks today remember? Cut me some slack! I am hypoxic. My brain function is very depleted. Pretty sure my motor functions are on the way out too._

_**Gail:** _  
_You sure? Because I think you broke my hand earlier._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Whoopsie daisies. Well I hope that hug we shared wasn't too much for you either._

_**Gail:** _  
_It was ok, I think my plan is finally starting to work._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_You mean you have noticed the 4 pounds I have added to my ass?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Is that all? Come on, nerd! I need you to try harder than that!_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_:P_

_**Gail:** _  
_This hospital has good vending machines. The one up near radiology has Cheese puffs. Maybe you could go stock up? Lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I don't think I like the fact that you know each vending machine intimately._

_**Gail:** _  
_Don't be jealous._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Did you want me to get you something to eat for when you grace me with your presence again?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Not what I meant but yes please. I think they also have those Curly Wurley's you seem to like so much._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_How do you know I like Curly Wurley's?_

_**Gail:** _  
_I'm a cop._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_What does that mean?_

_**Gail:** _  
_It means I snooped through all your drawers the other week when I stayed over after our last hospital visit. You have quite the stash! Didn't know you had such a sweet tooth._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Wow!_

_**Gail:** _  
_I know! You have quite a few secrets don't you, Dr. Stewart._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Wow!_

_**Gail:** _  
_You said that already. Hypoxia is in full effect it seems._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Which drawers did you look through exactly?_

_**Gail:** _  
_All of them._

_Lunchbox;_  
 _All of them?_

_**Gail:** _  
_All of them!_

_**Gail:** _  
_While you were in the shower._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Even the one in… never mind._

_**Gail:** _  
_Yes, even the one in… ;)_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I don't what nothing huh._

_**Gail:** _  
_Yeah, that didn't make sense, nerd._

_**Gail:** _  
_Btw, your ass is fine. I am pretty sure you gained 4 pounds of boobage._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_So you are saying my boobs aren't "fine"?_

_**Gail:** _  
_No, I am saying your boobs are huge._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Lol, you're a nut._

* * *

_**Gail:** _  
_I only just noticed this, but isn't it funny how the number of heart attacks you have apparently suffered has now increased from 1 to 3 in the space of 15 minutes._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_What can I say? Thinking about you makes my heart skip beating._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_That was too much wasn't it?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Enough to make me blush, Dr. Stewart. ;)_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_You have to stop calling me that._

_**Gail:** _  
_Lol. Ok then, Dr. Stewart._

* * *

_**Gail:** _  
_Should we be using our phones right now?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_It's just a myth. Cellphones work off a different frequency than all the equipment._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_It is however very impolite._

_**Gail:** _  
_Since when have I ever been polite?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Beats me._

* * *

_**Gail:** _  
_I made Dov go take a breather and now I am sitting alone with Chloe. She is hooked up to so much stuff! It's fucking scary._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I know, I'm sorry. No change in her condition?_

_**Gail:** _  
_No. She is so annoying._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Um, Gail? I think you might need to work on your bedside manner. Lol._

_**Gail:** _  
_The one time I actually want her to open her stupid mouth she decides she wants to be in some sort of stupid coma. Typical. She has some esplainin' to do!_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_That stupid coma is keeping her alive at the moment and I don't know how one explains themselves out of getting shot like that._

_**Gail:** _  
_It's not that. Dov told me earlier that she is married. Her husband (her next of kin) showed up and took control of everything. Dov is pretty cut up about it._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Shit! That's just whack!_

_**Gail:** _  
_Whack? You always know exactly what to say, don't you?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_You can thank my oxygen-deprived brain._

_**Gail:** _  
_I thought I revived you in the interrogation room._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_;)_

_**Gail:** _  
_So what are you up to now? 5 heart attacks?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_6._

_**Gail:** _  
_Lol._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_And you didn't revive me. You caused it to happen. Try harder next time._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Chris is still staring. Was there something on my face?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Nerd, have you looked in the mirror lately? It is very hard not to look at you. Even Traci said the other day she wanted to rip her own hair out at the very sight of you. That face of yours? It's like drawing a moth to a flame._

_**Gail:** _  
_Who's blushing now?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Shut up!_

* * *

_**Gail:** _  
_You could go home. One of us should at least get some sleep tonight._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Nope._

_**Gail:** _  
_You sure? It's ok if you want to go. I'd understand._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I don't want to go anywhere! Not without you._

_**Gail:** _  
_Ok. Settle down, nerd. Eat a Curly Wurley._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Oliver is still doing well. Detective Swarek is out of surgery and stable. Doctors are hopeful he will pull through just fine._

_**Gail:** _  
_Thank fuck. How did you find out?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_They know me here. I asked. Steve is the passing the info around now._

_**Gail:** _  
_Such a helpful meerkat :) Thank you._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_You're welcome._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_So are Traci and Steve a thing?_

_**Gail:** _  
_No, don't think so. Unless she has allowed my brother to make a move._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Well she just walked into the waiting room and he hugged and kissed her._

_**Gail:** _  
_WHAT!?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I could go into more detail if you like?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Lol, no thanks. What a loser. Good on him tho. Pecks for the win!_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Now they are both staring at me._

_**Gail:** _  
_Well I was talking with her about u all weekend and I am pretty sure he figured it out the moment I hugged you earlier. It's not usually how I communicate._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_So you're okay with people knowing that something is going on with us?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Yes. Are you surprised?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_No, I guess I'm not._

_**Gail:** _  
_Good. Because it's a non-issue._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Traci is smirking at me. It's freaking me out._

* * *

_**Gail:**_  
 _Hey, quit staring at Holly! You are freaking her out!_

_**Traci:** _  
_Lol, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Where are you?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Sitting with Chloe while Dov takes a break and no, I have not pulled out her tubes if you were wondering._

_**Gail:** _  
_Will you do something for me?_

_**Traci:** _  
_What?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Freak out Holly some more? I am barely holding it together. I need some amusement._

_**Traci:** _  
_Lol. You are weird. But ok._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_OMG! Gail! They hate me! They both just motioned to me that they have their eyes on me! What the hell?_

_**Gail:** _  
_They did what?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_And Steve just pointed at me and then pretended to slit his throat!_

_**Gail:** _  
_That's weird._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Do I need to go talk to them?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Lol, if you feel you need to. Go for it._

* * *

_**Traci:** _  
_How was that?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Perfect._

_**Traci:** _  
_She looks pretty uncomfortable. You are so evil._

_**Traci:** _  
_Shit. She just got up and left._

_**Gail:** _  
_Go and fucking grab her!_

_**Traci:** _  
_It's ok, she just went to the bathroom. Lol._

_**Gail:** _  
_Lol._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I hate you._

_**Gail:** _  
_Yeah right._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Now that you and Traci have had your fun, you better make it up to me._

_**Gail:** _  
_How do I do that?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I dunno. What do you usually do in these situations?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Have sex._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Lol. How about we just stick to dinner?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Side stepping the fact I am totally offended right now that you are passing up sex with me, are you asking me out?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_No._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Did you want me to ask you out?_

_**Gail:** _  
_I wouldn't mind sharing a meal with you, but why don't we just forego the pressure of a calling it a date seeing as we basically have done this every other night?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Dinner at mine then, Thursday?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Ok, but no sex._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Fine. As you wish._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_So how you doing? Are you okay?_

_**Gail:** _  
_I am not great and I really need a hot shower._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_What can I do?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Nothing. You are doing it already._

_**Gail:** _  
_I really need to get out of this room though._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_How about I send Chris up? I think he is a little anxious to see how Dov is doing and I wouldn't mind seeing you again either :)_

_**Gail:** _  
_K. Thanks for waiting for me._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I said I would._

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Found him. He will be up shortly._

_**Gail:** _  
_And I just found I have an email from you._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_You might not be in the best state of mind to be reading that._

_**Gail:** _  
_Why not?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_There are feelings._

_**Gail:** _  
_Well I am feeling pretty numb at the moment so maybe a few feelings will help?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Okay. But I warned you!_

* * *

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Have you finished?_

_**Gail:** _  
_Yep. You are something "special" Holly Milo Stewart._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_You haven't seen nothin' yet. Wait for it..._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I forgot to attach that better drawing I had promised you._  
 _[1 image attached]_

_**Gail:** _  
_Come find me. Now._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Did that pic send? I can't tell._

_**Gail:** _  
_Room 304._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Stupid technology. It is always bloody something with this phone. I need a new one._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Actually I am pretty sure all technology hates me. My computer in my office at work decided it wanted to restart every time I press the letter Z, which mind you isn't as often as you'd think but totally annoying when it does happen._

_**Gail:** _  
_NERD! Shut up! I got your adorable drawing!_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Oh._

_**Gail:** _  
_Your mother drew this didn't she?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_She did not!_

_**Gail:** _  
_Bullshit, Holly! Face it, you suck!_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_I will deny this forever. I am really REALLY hurt right now._

_**Gail:** _  
_I am little embarrassed that you brought your mother into our insanity._

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Well lucky for you it is I who drew it!_

_**Gail:** _  
_How am I supposed to look her in the eye when we visit in December? I don't think she is gonna appreciate knowing that I perpetually live up metaphorical trees._

* * *

_**Gail:** _  
_So now that this cat has jumped out of the tree and into you arms and according to that picture that you DIDN'T DRAW, landed on top of you, what are you gonna do now?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Come find you in room 304?_

_**Gail:** _  
_I am behind the curtains on the bed next to the little old lady on the far side of the room._

_**Gail:** _  
_Will you come lay with me? Have a few more heart attacks?_

_**Lunchbox:** _  
_Ok. But only because you asked so nicely and because I am quite enjoying these heart attacks._

_**Gail:** _  
_If you hurry up I may let you chew on my neck... and if you are really lucky... hump my leg._

* * *

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleases find Tumblr link to chapter illustration [here.](http://weedyart.tumblr.com/post/86160238595/part-30-gail-holly-texting-saga-ends)


	31. Surviving the Stewarts - Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 8 weeks later, and Gail & Holly are getting ready to travel to Vancouver for Holly's little sisters birthday.

**— // 8 WEEKS LATER // —**

**Gail:**  
So your mother emailed me.

**Lunchbox:**  
Crazy did what now?

**Gail:**  
Electronic mail? It’s when you exchange digital messages with one another over the internet.

**Lunchbox:**  
I’m familiar with the concept. They are the things I continue to send you but you chose to ignore. How on earth did she get your email address?

**Gail:**  
You’re asking me? She is your mother!

**Lunchbox:**  
Not for long.

**Gail:**  
Lol. Murder?

**Lunchbox:**  
Of course. Wives, mothers, cats… I am running out of things to murder.

**Lunchbox:**  
This is weird though. I’m sorry, Ill talk to her.

**Gail:**  
Cos that wouldn’t be embarrassing? It’s fine. Calm your tits, no need to talk to her.

**Lunchbox:**  
My tits are perfectly calm, thank you. So what did she want then? A kidney? Your shoe size? A lesson on how to use your baton?

**Gail:**  
That last one sounds good. I always jump at the chance to whip that out.

**Lunchbox:**  
I bet you do, my angry ‘lil muffin.

**Gail:**  
No! My pet name will not be muffin! Keep trying.

**Lunchbox:**  
Fine. :P I don’t like that you have veto power over this. What if don’t I like the names nerd or Lunchbox?

**Gail:**  
Tough titties.

**Gail:**  
Anyway, your mother wrote she was looking forward to meeting me tomorrow and asked if I had any “special food needs.”

**Lunchbox:**  
Special food needs? Information she could have easily gotten from me.

**Gail:**  
I’m guessing that would have probably spoiled her fun. Parents can be very sneaky. You’ve met my mother.

**Lunchbox:**  
By mistake.

**Gail:**  
You keep saying that but it was totally premeditated. Dropping off a report my ass! Have all the couriers been sick lately?

**Lunchbox:**  
There must be something still going around. :D

**Gail:**  
Y’know, she probably stole samples of your DNA. Have you noticed any hairs missing?

**Lunchbox:**  
I know you’re most likely joking, but just saying that really freaks me out.

**Gail:**  
:D

**Gail:**  
Aren’t you happy that my parents decided to go on holiday before you even had the chance to come to Friday night dinner?

**Lunchbox:**  
I was never fazed about it, but I take it you are still doing cartwheels over this?

**Gail:**  
8 weeks, Lunchbox!!! 8 glorious weeks without her yapping in my ear about my unfulfilled potential.

**Lunchbox:**  
She was actually quite pleasant.

**Gail:**  
High praise. Elaine must be losing her touch.

**Lunchbox:**  
So did you want me to get back to my evil mother about your “special food needs”?

**Gail:**  
Already replied. Told her as long as you’re there, I won’t need to eat anything else.

**Lunchbox:**  
Firstly, you’re such a dirty liar!

**Gail:**  
Oooh is that my new nickname? I like it!

**Lunchbox:**  
Veto.

**Gail:**  
Fine! What is your secondly?

**Lunchbox:**  
Secondly, WTF? You respond to my mothers emails but not mine? I am hurt! HURT!!!

**Gail:**  
I think you should be flattered that I don’t respond to your emails.

**Lunchbox:**  
And why is that exactly?

**Gail :**  
Because I like to show you my response in person.

**Holly:**  
Then I should probably write you another email before I see you tomorrow. That’s if I see you. I wouldn’t blame you if I didn’t.

**Gail:**  
Don’t be like that. I am all done climbing trees (but who knows? Your mother might drive me up there after this weekend’s visit).

**Lunchbox:**  
She better be on her best behavior.

**Gail:**  
You will see me at the airport in the morning, okay? I promise. I have to go. There is some very important police business that needs my immediate attention. Those donuts won’t buy themselves.

**Lunchbox:**  
Stay safe tonight and try and fight the urge to kick Dov in the nuts. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow, my gorgeous sweet donut baby.

**Gail:**  
Yes you will and veto!


End file.
